Biding time

I used to run for a position in the student representative council back in MRSM. At that time I was in form four. In MRSM they carried out this election thingy to choose who gets to be in the BWP. All students get to vote who they deemed qualified to lead them. To make long story short, I entered the election. I contested for the Exco Sukan seat against a friend and a classmate of mine. So it was a 1 v 1 contest. No other candidates. We underwent a strict selection process, and were finally eligible for elections. I forgot how long they gave us, but the poster hanging and the campaigning started. Until the day of the voting.

Towards the elections, there's this friend of mine, who just got transferred to our school from another mrsm under disciplinary reasons. Well basically it means that his old mrsm wanted to get rid of him, but he was given one last chance to start new in another mrsm. When I said last chance, it means even the simplest form of misdemeanor would cause him to get an expulsion. Nak dijadikan cerita one day he lost his temper and lashed out on a classmate. And for that outburst he had, he's getting expelled. I mean for just lashing out? That's like what kindergarten kids do on a daily basis.

So we decided to gather as many fourth former as we could, and go to the headmaster house to appeal on behalf of him. The headmaster asked us to calm down and let the disciplinary hearings deal with it. Our effort was without avail. Later that day, he got expelled. The next day, our warden asked those who went to the headmaster house to go and write our name in a piece of paper. He made it sound so harmless, as if he wanted to help us. That's the thing with my school wardens. A bunch of hypocritical fags. They made it as if they were our friends. For example, a warden would come to us, joking around as if he's our friend, the kind of teacher that student trusted and shared everything with. Dia nanti tanya la "awak hisap rokok?", as if he was trying to reach out to us, as if he care. But wrong. He doesnt give a shit. He just wants a promotion or a pat in the back by his faggy friends saying he's doing a good job. And once he knew your secret, he will used it against you. He'll give you a choice. Whether to rat out your friends, or face the wrath of consequences. 

Okay sorry where were we? Haa..so a bunch of us went to write our name down. This was on the day of the election, I think. Long story short, they announced the election result. To my surprise, I didnt win it. So does my opponent. Apparently, they gave the position to another candidates who contested in the Biro Kebajikan seats. That's when I realized that I just got screwed. It angered me to every inch of my skin. Call it theory conspiracy, call it whatever. I really believed that I should have won it. People love me over there. I was voted to be the House Captain within seconds of the AGM. All the kakak form five told me they had my back. Plus, I had the best sports CV in the school. Well, I really can accept defeat. I am a sportsman, it's in my nature to accept defeat. But if I really lost fair and square, how come my opposition candidate didn't get the seat? I can accept lost, but not like that. What enraged me more was that there were friends who actually went to the headmaster house but were a total chicken to go over and write their name, got the job. Heck even the president pun pergi.

But this experience was an eye opener for me.  Dulu aku selalu tertanya-tanya, depa ni nak cari badan wakil pelajar ka badan wakil sekolah? But To go against the system, you must be a part of the system first. I should have kept my temperament, show that Im a good watchdog for the school and slaved away my ass to the wardens. And only after I get the job baru la aku start jadi wakil pelajar. I also learn a few things from this. Hang tak boleh buat picket, hang tak boleh buat demonstrasi, hang tak boleh buat perhimpunan aman. You'll only get into trouble. No matter how right you think you are. Which is a little bit flawed isn't it?  I think that pretty much depict our political scenario in the country. I think I have changed a lot from these experience, but I can't run from who I am forever. Although I seem like a reserved guy, Im not afraid to have an opinion. They might keep me quiet, but they can't stop me from having an opinion. And when the right time comes, I'll take them on. That's the most important lesson of them all.