to stand on her steps with my heart in my hands

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now I'm left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too [x3]

25

ok kena tagged dengan syuness, asking 25 things about yourself. From the top of my head, these are one of the things that are either too obvious, or too embarrassing to be told.

1. I am plain lazy. If there are shortcuts in everything I do, I'd definitely take it. Macam tutup tv pakai kaki, because I was too lazy too get up and switch it of with my hand. If they arent any shortcuts, I would simplify things up. But not to the extend of breaking the rules and syara' la.

2. Currently depends heavily on cigarettes and red bulls daily. Kalau takda dua benda ni rasa cam tak kena ja. Hopefully I can get rid of them by the end of this year. InsyaAllah. Selalu kena maki/perli/kutuk/tegur/nasihat pasal this two things.

3. I love football and futsal. I love playing, watching, talking, sleeping, drinking. Need I say more?

4. I am a red belt holder in Taekwondo ITF. Sayang ja dulu pi berhenti, sbb pindah rumah dari Bayan Baru to Free School. So tak complete la. Lagi sket ja nak dapat hitam. sobs. But whenever I got into a fight, bukan pakai pun what I learnt. My 'sure win' policy is rugby tackle-disable-punch punch and punch. haha

5. In completing task/assignment/jobs, my priority policy is (paling penting to kurang penting)

I. Buat yang paling senang dulu

II. Buat yang paling important dulu

III. Buat ikut first come first serve.

Well, usually thats how I get things done la. How about you?

6. I've appeared as an extra in one episode of 3R. I cant remember which season, but episode tu Tini and Vic Malaysian Idol 1 berlakon. In the episode Vic bullied and teased Tini for being overweight. Sampai skarang dok cari episode ni kalau2 jumpa balik. Anyone kalau jumpa gitau k

7. I dont have a bestfriend. I dont like ranking my friends whom I like best and whom I like the least. To me everyone is equal. Eventhough the treatment between one another varies, but its just more or less the same. Dengan A mungkin selalu aku spend time, tapi dgn B yang banyak share secrets skali. Yang sini lebih kot sini, yang sana lak lebih kot sana. ish paham ka tak nih grr

8. I'm a movies/series addict. Suma layan. From sitcom, to reality show, to chick flick, to sci fi and to action. I have a one dedicated hard disk just to store them. Currently watching Greek season three and dexter latest season.

9. I only switch off my PC once a week. This is to cater to my movies/series addiction above. Downloading them to my PC. So, I may appear online all the time, but doesnt necessarily mean that Im in front of the computer. Sorry to those yang salu PM tapi tak terbalas. It's either Im away from the PC, or I simply dont like you. Tehee

10. I'd like to think that things that come out from my head is pure gold. So I would observe, analyze and think carefully before I say something. It doesnt have to be academic, or something smart, it could be something stupid as well. Saying stupid funny things could get you into raja lawak.

11. I'd like to think that Im an all rounder as well. I have a very wide variety of interest. Kira serba serbi la. But I would prefer it if I could just be really really good at one thing and sucks at others daripada serba-serbi know/do things but average. Like how I wish that Im a genious at playing the guitar but taktau papa lngsung psal benda lain.

13. I cant stand who dont live up to their words. They said action speaks louder than words. If you cant live up to what you say, it is better to be silent. However, I have a great admiration to people who boast about themselve, but live up to every word yang diorang bangga kan. To me, it's a character of a natural winner.

14. I dont like crowded places. Kalau boleh elak. Memang elak. I hate long ques too.

15. Aku suka tanya soalan yang pelik2 kat kawan aku; suka jamban duduk ke jamban canggung? coffee or tea? power to get money or money to get power? they called it 'soalan berbentuk azmil' courtesy of Mr Faruk Hassan. I dont know, i like asking people odd question, bukan nak tau answer sngt, but nak tau cara diorang fikir. :)

16. I wanted to at least once stepped in some of the famous stadium in Europe. Kalau boleh nak melawat Santiago Bernebeu, Allianz Arena, Old Trafford and San Siro. Hopefullt it comes true. InsyaAllah,

17. Im proud to be a Penangites. Like seriously proud. Im proud of our food, our tradition and our lifestyle. Ok ok I was born in Terengganu, but I was raised in Penang my entire life. Boo Terengganu. Ok, aku kena private blog ni bila aku apply scholarship Yayasan Terengganu nanti.

18. My appearance and my looks deceived people. I get that a lot. When told about my results and achievement, people would go on saying "biar betul azmil tu tak nampak macam pndai pun". Or when they heard anything about me, "biar betul, tak tau lak azmil tu suka pompuan. aku ingat dia suka laki".

19. I have a 'dont know dont care' attitude. I dont really care about what people says to/about me. I just do my own things. I guess thats how I get by. Because the more I concentrate on myself rather than people, the higher chances that I'd do better and the more upset people will get. tehee.

20. My trustworthy California Series Stratocaster guitar is my bestfriend whenever I have the blues in me. With a little bit of tweak, she's a monster. Whenever Im having a hard day, her sounds soothed me and calms me down.

21. I dont think that Im a good listener, but people would come to me and seek advise on relationships, lives, futures etc. Sometimes I felt like Im carrying this heavy responsibility on my back. Aku takut that my advise would backfire or goes wrong. Happened quite a couple of times, but so far takde lagi la org yang hate me for following my advise. I think...

22. I dont lie much, but i likes to manipulate things up to my advantage. It isnt lying, sometimes I just sugar coat my communication and carefully filter information so that it works both way. And of course I do it for the greater good, like how I manipulate things up so that two friends who's fighting can kiss and make up. Puan Idayu penah cakap kat kelas in front of everybody to not trust me as Im a one big fat manipulator.

23. I dont really like text messaging people. To me its a hassle. I would rather talk on the phone rather than texting. I only replied to msgs that I think are important.

25. People like to think that Im clever, but in truth Im not. Im just an average Joe who work hard and lucky. I do it the hard way. Im not the type of guy who can easily absorbs things like a sponge. I need to read a lot of times before I can fully have a grasp on something.

Yay done. I skipped no 24 and 12 just to prove no 1 ;-) lets see who i want to tag. ok nobody. Im lame. nobody reads my blog. laters alligators

When you look back

Tiap-tiap abes semester lepas abes last exam, Hafiz Yahaya and aku akan salu pi lepak dekat menara kat bukit balik pulau tu. We would go buy some titbits, some soft drinks and also a big fat cigar to bring along. There, while lepaking, we would recap and look back at what we have done during the semester. And we ended up thanking each other for always being there for each other. It is kind of important to us to always do this to remember where we come from, how we began and how we get this far.

Usually I can easily summed up and describe one semester; be it a challenging one, a sad one, a happy one, etc. But this semester, Im having difficulty on deciding which one is it. Too many things happened all in all, Im having a mixed feelings. Banyak benda jadi this semester; orientation, mama was hospitalized, Amar was possesed, events involvement, Raya, the separation, the 6 months fight, assignment completion etc. Thats when I realized that all this while I;ve been living my life in static. Tak ada turun naik. Mendatar ja. That's why I can easily summed up a semester before.

But this time it's different. The graph goes up and down through out the semester. Which I guess is a good thing, signifying that I've lived my life to the fullest. I took uncalculated risk, I do new things, I meet more people, and with mixed fortune I was able to experience a lot of things this semester. Yeah, things dont usually go my way or at least the way i wanted, but it was worth it to embark new things and trying to discover my full potential. So here's a toast: to graduation. to our hard work. To new things. To farewell.

I would like to thank everybody who plays an important part during my life in college. Friends, foes, lecturers and not to forget the supporting staff. Without their help, Im nothing. To bid farewell to these people really makes my heart ache. I will miss ICT, I will miss arguing and throwing a banter at my friends, I will miss doing last minute assignment, I will miss that occasionally coffee chat with Sir Zabidi, I will miss everything. If I were to go back in time, there's nothing that I would do differently. Which mean erm, I've lived my college life to the fullest after all. :) Anyway, Im going off to college now. Mr Wan conducted some short courses for us and shortly after that, we would have a farewell party. Laters

Affify Shuhada Abdul Razak

This is a dedication post. And this post is about a dear friend of mine, Affify Shuhada@Fify@ Ify. Affify and I made a pact that we must write about each other on our blogs. We can write about anything; special occasions, good or bad memories, puji, kutuk etc. hehe. You know how much I would jump for an opportunity to say bad things kat orang kan? haha just kidding. Before I start, Fify, if my post is not up to your standards, Im very sorry. Im not very much as a creative fella as you, but my words and thoughts are honest and true. Thats what counts kan? :)

Aku kenal Fify masa sem 2. Like Yahaya, she came to ICT Penang after studying her first semester in ICT Klang. So all in all, I have known Fify for almost 2 and a half years now. To be honest, I dont really like Fify at first. Sebab my first impression at her is dia ni pulun sangat. And I cant stand orang yang pulun terlebih. Fify would sit up front in the class with angah, asking a lot of questions dekat lecturers. A looottt I would say. Sometimes benda yang kita tak perlu tanya pun dia nak tanya gak kat lecturer tu. Attention seeker punya fify :P. haha. Oddly, I also have a feeling that she didnt like me either.

But little by little, we managed to get along. I forgot how we become close. I think it came naturally. Little by little. Aku salu usik and hentam dia because of her 'pulun'ness. But Fify is not the type of person who sits quietly and accept all the banters thrown at her. She fights back. Bila aku kata kat dia, nanti dia kata balik kat aku. Thats how day by day, we became closer and closer. I remembered during PR class aku usik dia bila dia tanya soalan 'remeh' kt Puan Idayu. Haha dia tarik muka, and trus fire aku pasal perangai aku and bukak cita psal skandal aku kat Puan Idayu. Koasam tui.

And then during the third sem, we (december intakes) have a problem dengan subject registration. They only gave us 4 subjects, since the March intake students hasnt take as much subjects as us. This would give us a disadvantage becos we hafta to take 6 subjects during sem 4 and 5. So the 8 of us pergi appeal kat admin tuk register another two subjects. The two subjects that we added was Agama (join dengan dak sem 4) and Public Relation (join dengan dak sem 5). Kira kami banyak menumpang kelas orang la. Since we dont know everybody else, we sticked to each other a lot. All the nine of us; consisting of me, Hafiz, Yahaya, Fify, Angah, Sabrina, Suzy, Salwa and Dayah always take care of each other.

Sebab tu la Ify boleh rapat dgn kami. Kalau bukan sebab add subject tu, jgn harapla dia nak rapat dengan kami. Haha. Ify ni sangat2 hardworking. Rajin terlebih. Salu mintak extra tutorial/excercise. Salu bila dia mintak latihan extra kat lecturer we the guys akan usaha sedaya upaya to change the topics. Kadang2 kami divert the lecturer's attention to ignore ify, kadang2 kami divert ify's attention so she would forget to ask the lecturer for extra excercises. Ify is also well known with her "sapa tanya?" jokes. Kita punya penat cita kat dia, dia nnt boleh buat lawak juah camni.

Ali: Ify tau dak, budak yang pakai baju merah blablablablablaalbalbla.........blalblablabla...

Ify: Sapa?

Ali: Ala budak yang baju me..

Ify: Sapa tanya? (potong cakap and buat muka selamba)

Juah gila. Memang nanti selalu kena. Haha. One thing about Fify, she was always there for me whenever Im in need. She helped in my studies, she even helped me organize myself. Selalu remind pasal meeting. Salu bagi pinjam notes and tolong photostat. I can never repay what she had done to me. We also did our MPP election campaign together, where we hung our posters together side by side. Alhamdulillah we won the election; dia dapat first and aku dapat second place, daripada 10 candidates camtu. And paling takleh lupa malam dinner. Aku tak sep tempat kat dia sedangkan kami budak2 satu kelas dah janji nak duduk setable.

Actually bukan aku lupa, but aku silap budget. Tau-tau ja table kami dah penuh. Kesian dia lepas penat jaga registration counter kat depan, only to find out kami tak sep tempat kat dia. haih. Sorry ify, I hope you can forgive me. I mentioned in my earlier post that I never consider anyone a rival in studies as I only like to concentrate on myself. But if there was a worthy rival, Fify is one of them. Salu fight dengan dia in studies. I usually beat her in exam, but usually she beats me in presentation and assignments. Haih. Besala laki, kerja nak mudah, and nak last minute. Mana nak dapat markah elok. Last sem she nearly equalled my result, tapi sayang satu subject dapat A-. Nevermind fy, mana tau sem ni Ify dapat beat Azmil. :)

Lagi satu, ify tak pernah berkira kederat. Time MPP dulu Ify salu tolong kalau ada apa-apa event. Walaupun even tu bukan dia punya, she always give her best contributing. Paling takleh lupa time event futsal tournament yang aku handle dengan afiq. Dia jadi ballpicker kot. tengah2 panas pi kutip bola, lari kehulu kehilir, dari pagi sampai petang. Memang sangat2 thankful kat dia. Pastu aku janji dgn dia nak tolong time event dia, Ratu Busana Muslimah. But unfortunately, aku takleh tolong dia prepare (dewan, hadiah, logistik etc) sebab time tu aku busy gila. Marah jugakla dia kat aku. Tapi aku malam RBM tu, memang aku tolong kaw2 and in the end, dia pun tak marah dah. Siap bagi lagi extra medal RBM kat aku. *terharu*

Lagi satu ify ni kira cam budak baikk la konon. diulangi perkataan konon tu. hehe. Fify ni cam naive sket. And kamilah yang dok mengajaq dia benda2 tak elok. hehehe. Ajak dia pi main bowling, ajak dia lepak mcd, ajak dia pi picnic. mcm2 lagi. Actually bukan benda jahat pun, but maybe ify tak biasa. Everytime after we did something that is totally new to her, she will always thank us sebab bawak/ajak/ajar dia. According to Ify, her dad is very strict. So kami salu ugut dia nak pi umah dia gitau bapak dia yang dia dok join kami buat 'benda jahat' tu. Anyway Ify, I wish you all the best in your future undertakings. I really hope that we can meet again one day, catching up and reminisce all the good time we had together

Thank you for everything and i meant that from the bottom of my heart. If I managed to maintain my results, I will definitely dedicate my achievement to you. Because you played an important role in my life sepanjang kita kenal. Tanpa ify dan kawan2 yang lain, Im nothing. :) And be strong out there, girl. I cant always watch over you like before. Life is gonna hit u real hard, much harder than college life. So the next time when you call me, I dont want to hear you crying like last time, ok? When you call you better be cheerful and full with laughter. All the best for your future undertakings, and do tell me if any guy is messing with you.Im gonna kick their asses for messing with my lil sister. Thats all. Bye~!

The Rejects

Like the entertainment industry, football is a cruel world. Footballers work their socks off in order to be on top of their game. Because if they dont, they're out. Simple as that. There are always someone younger and stronger, breathing down your neck trying to take your place in the team. A single game could determine your destiny in football, whether you belong to the first eleven, the bench or the bleachers. Like an entertainer, being a footballer requires perserverance and a mountain of motivations because if you're down, you need to pick yourself up right away.

I myself experienced the same kind of thing. A few years back, in uni, I was just an average bench warmer for an average team. I've been fighting for a place in the team, but my effort was to no avail. Until one day, I managed to play in the first eleven, tu pun sebab my teammate got injured. Nak jadi rezeki, after that match I was offered a place to play for the strongest team in the uni. I've won a lot of honours with the team, at the same time playing an important part in our triumph. Thats when I realized that whatever happens, happened for a reason. Ada hikmah untuk setiap kejadian.

Footballers must also be prepared to get rejections from coach and fans. All you can do at that time is do your best, work harder and pray that things go your way. Malaysia menang dengan Kyrgyzstan 2-1 sat-sat tadi. Chanturu scored one of the goals for Malaysia. Chanturu was a Penang President Cup Players, rejected by Penang but eventually play for Kelantan senior team. And yes, he recently lifted the Malaysia Cup beating non others, Negri Sembilan. Kadang-kadang rezeki kita bukan kat sini, tapi kat tempat lain. Coach kat sini taknak kat kita, tapi coach kat sana mungkin nak.

The same goes to life. Orang kat sini takmau kat kita, tapi orang kat sana mungkin mau. ;-) Rezeki Allah yang tentukan.I dont get it, why Penang tak hold on to great players like Chanturu. Lani bila dah turun pi Liga Perdana, nak nyesal pun tak guna. Like Chanturu, I will prove to those who looked passed me, that they'll never find nobody else like me. And at least ponder "what could have been if azmil is around?" hahaha kalau depa tak regret pun, just a passing thoughts pun jadi laa (>.<)