Lama..

..tak update. My mom has been hospitalized. She underwent a surgery last Friday. So i've been juggling between schools, hospitals, and family duties for the past few days since mama is away. The doctor suspected that she had appendix outburst, but they werent sure of it. So they did an exploratory laparotomy surgery on her to check what's wrong. They found some infections and/or somekind of lump in her intestine which is believed to aggravate her sickness and they scraped it off. Well I really hope they get it right.

I cant stand the fact that mama had to go through all that. She suffered enough. She had gone under the blade quite a few times. When she gave birth to Najwa, she had a C-section. Then a while after that, she had heserectomy (betui ka eja) and now this. Sometimes I even prayed that I am the one who takes her place because seeing her in pain and suffering is killing me inside. Anyway today mama showed improvement, she started to eat solid food and started to chat with the patients next bed. Alhamdulillah.

Okay moving on to other stuff. It's funny when people judge you. It's even funnier when they only judged you with what they want to judge, not with what is there to judge. Like how you do 20 good things for the country, but the rakyat only wanted to talk about 2 bad things u do. And like how you bring so many good things in the football arena, but people only talked about the head butt you did to a racist opponent of yours in the World Cup Final. And like how youu used to be faithful for 3 years in a relationship, but people like to point out that one month fling you had with the office secretary.

It's basic mathematic. To find the correct conclusion, we have to make the correct premises. lol. Before we start labelling them stuff like 'penghisap syabu', 'sweet talker' or 'genious', we should really look deeper. Im not really a people pleaser. Fact, I dont give a twat about what people think of me. However there are some important people to me whom their opinion matters to me. People like friends and families. I would give anything just to gain their trust and attention..and affection. till then

The Terrific Trio

The key to a successful assignment task largely depends to your group members. I am glad that I have Yahaya and Hafiz. They were the best of colleagues, and also the best of friends. Hafiz and I formed the Dynamic Duo during the first sem, and on the second semester Yahaya joined us from ICT Klang turning us into the Terrific Trio. Well, TT is what I wanted people to call us but most people and lecturers call us the Three Stooges >.<>

I remembered the first time I met Hafiz. Hafiz is an introvert. He rarely speaks unless he is spoken to. It was difficult to break the ice when I first met Hafiz but after a while we became all chummy. He's a computer geek and a korean freak. He also had this never ending love saga with his girlfriend that we kept telling him to leave. haha He rarely speaks his mind, and at times he struggled coming up with an ideas. However he found his true role in this so called TT. He's the implementor. The way he transfer concepts and ideas into a piece of paper or into the computer screen is a masterpiece. He is the kind of guy who can turn something abstract into something obvious. And he have the patience and virtue to do things that is redundant: like how he spent almost half of his weekend working on this 60 seconds timer on our powerpoint presentation.

Yahaya is an introvert too, but unlike Hafiz, he is a reserved guy. Mamat ni macam tak pernah ada problem. Usually Hafiz and me will whine and whine about our problems and all he does is listened. He's a superb listener. I mean if you told him about your neighbour's pony named Carly that was sick, a few semester later he would go on asking "Hey how's carly doing?" lol. Yahaya dont contribute much during the build up of our assignment. Selalunya bila kami dah taip 3 page, dia baru merangkak-rangkak taip half a page. But he is vital towards the end of our assignment. He's the controller. He's like our quality inspector. He would go on nag and nag "eh bolehkah buat camni, mr azrul suruh buat mcm lain" and "eh takpa ka kita buat reference tak ikut format harvard". So usually he will do the proof reading and editing. :D

Me on the other hand is a lazy bum. I did things just barely enough. Salu cincai ja buat kerja. And yes, most lecturers recognized my lazy and messy handwritings and i usually got ripped because of that. But I am the master planner. I usually came up with the concept, the main ideas. And once I came up with the ideas, I would figure out what to do and how to do it. So that concludes planning and organizing. Yes, Im still that unorganize and unsystematic brat but when it comes to assignment, we never get behinds schedule and usually when others dok kelam kabut buat assignments, we just sit back and chillax (chill+relax). So in short, I came up with the main ideas, Hafiz elaborates and work on it and Yahaya perfected it. Dont get me wrong, we still do the assignment together but at every stage, each one of us took charge.

Together, we had done some great and out-of-the-ordinary-work, the management students had seen. We pulled the best (and still the best) multimedia presentation, according to Miss Nazleen, who had been showing our work to the juniors. We pulled that prosecutor versus defense trial, jadi lawyer when presenting our Persuasive Speech. We got the strongest reliability and variance in our research thesis. We pulled that extravagant Seniman Bujang Lapuk sketch, siap dgn props and pocket bike ( i kid you not kami bawak pocket bike masuk DM). We also nailed the Public Relations presentation, dengan slide kosong (putih ja takdak apa pun) and all we did was print screen news dari internet which Puan Idayu described as 'lazy and dull but awfully concise.' xD

Another thing about the TT is that we clearly understand each other. It's like we have telepathic powers, we can say lots of things in less words. Happens all the time. Our classmates would make the 'wtf' face everytime we did that. Cakap sepatah dua tiba2 gelak. Mana member tak hangait. Haha. And also, we always look out for each other. Yes sometimes (maybe lots of times) we screwed up. But mostly on these occasions, either one of us would stepped up and ripped that clothe of them like Clark Kent and saved the day. All in all, Im grateful to have these two by my side. Last semester was the first time that all three of us scored 3.5 and above, and there's nothing more than can top the feeling of sharing success together. I value their friendship highly, and I dunno what would I be without them. Thanx guys.

(>.<)

Many thanx to those who made yesterday's event a huge success. You guys made my day! To think that I was considering to bail out from you guys made me feel even guiltier(>.<) Anyways, I really had a blast. It was a pure delight seeing each and every one of them. Too bad some cant make it. Im sure they had more important things to do, unlike me who nearly bail them over some annual Japanese festival and some cheap shushi. Haha, dok pangkah diri sendiri plak. Grrr. Highlight of the night was when we were playing pillow talk; talking about things, on a personal level. The best part was that everybody participated in harmony with no ill feelings and bitterness even though some topics are quite sensitive and personal to be told.

Nothing much been going on with my life really. But a few weeks ago I did mentioned about this. Well, I've taken one; by confessing to a long time crush how I am into her. It's pretty much a big deal to me because I dont go around telling people that I fall for them. In fact I dont fall for someone that easy. I was really caught up with this chauvinism ideology of mine that I'm so proud off- until the day she came into my life and just swept me of my feet. There goes my chauvinism; into the drain. I felt butterflies in my stomach, something that I havent feel for years.

My palm was sweating, muscles was shaking, my lips trembled and my heart skipped a beat. I was worried that I will ruin things between us and affect our friendship, as her friendship alone already means so much to me. These two years I've been picking up myself and dusting myself off, so all these confidence of mine that I built could be crushed just like that if things go wrong. I cant afford another heartbreak. But I figured wth, she's worth every pain and hurt that I might suffer. So let's go out of that comfort zone just for this once. And I finally did it. Alhamdullilah the feeling is mutual :) she feels the same way too.

Dont get me wrong. That doesn't make us an item. It's just a licence for us to get to know each other more deeply. And a licence to flirt occasionally haha. We had our issues that we need to deal with first. Yeah, all these uncertainty and uneasiness is killing me. It's like footballer life all over again. You never know when you're wanted and when you're not wanted. When you're going to play in the first XI, and when you're warming that bench. It's killing me, but she's worth the hassle of being uncertain and uneasy. And Im not giving up on her, unless she told me to. Once Im in, Im in. For life. ♥

Serabut

People (the non classmates) been asking me where have I been since they didn’t get to meet me at college and I just lol’ed. The venues of all my classes are situated at the end of the blocks by the field. It’s either at BKN, BKM, or BKO. *sigh* boring gila takdak tempat lain ka nak bagi. Grr. Plus my schedule is wee bit tight and there’s not much gap in between classes. So I can’t be seen roaming around the college like I used too. That’s why they hardly see me.

Plus, the MPP is already disbanded as of yesterday, 13th July 2010. So that’s it; the end of our reign. The more reason why people hardly see me, as Im back to my normal student life- pi kelaih balik kelaih. Speaking of MPP, it’s been a great year. I am truly honoured to work along side with what could have been some of the most amazing people in college. It was a life changing experience. Even in a short stint, their friendship and work cooperation leave a deep impression in me.

I had never imagined myself being in the mpp. I had never imagined myself making friends with people other than my classmates, let alone people from other courses. I had never imagined myself organizing events and took responsibility to the degree that I thought that I could’ve not committed. Never once. I will never forget these amazing people. Not to forget the people who supported me during the elections as without them, I would never experience all these.

Usually in the final sem, you could see many students who have to extend their studies attending your class. I feel bad for these people. They should be graduating along with their friends, their batch but instead they’re here, taking that one or two subjects which hinder their graduation. I feel them. I know how painful it is to see your friends in the employment market/ degree courses while you have to stay behind a little bit longer. Well, better late than never. I wish them all the best.

Currently having a mild headache. Maybe because of I played footy in the rain just now. Or maybe because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. The pleasant one and the unpleasant one. I should really take it easy and take things on a daily basis. I should be aware that Im not 100% yet as Im still carrying a little holiday weight mentality. Dok qaplah apa taktau. Haih. Ok better go get a shower before I caught a fever. Laters.

Quickie

We were taking a nap talking about Paul the Octopus at the library yesterday and one thing led to another, we talked about rituals. We were talking about this odd and bizarre rituals that we do before doing/encountering anything. I realized that I tend to stick to one particular ritual and I hardly changed the order or procedures unless something bad happens. Why change when things are going great?

Back in the days when I was playing competitive football, I had quite a collection of football boots. I don’t have any real system on which boots should I be wearing for the day. Unlike girls who have this ‘built-in’ system in them on deciding which to wear on which day and to go along with which outfit. Basically I wore my football boots base on the results of the game I played. If something good happened (the team won, I scored a goal), it is likely that I will be wearing the same boots in the next match. And if something bad happened (the team lost, got yellow-carded) then only I’d wear other boots.

The same goes to my student’s life. Usually when the exams is around the corner be it finals or mid terms, I would go to the library to get copies of the past year exam papers. Bukannya jawab pun past years paper tu. Kadang-kadang tak pandang pun, but like I said, why change when things are going great. It’s the part of the rituals I do before taking the final examinations. Like how I started my first class everyday with a can of red bull. And like how I only do ‘business’ in the furthest right toilet at the restroom near Dewan Mutiara. Grrr

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not something that I really believed in. Khurafat tu. It is just a bizarre routine that I have that if not completed, I’ll feel that my preparation is incomplete. So basically it’s not really a ritual, as it is more about preparations and routine. An odd one. Better go take a shower now. Final sem ni first time dapat class pukul lapan >.<. Dahla jadual pun tak best.. urgh. Tapi hari ni half day ja. Org tu jangan jeles :P

You know who you are ;-)

You don't have a clue
What it is like to be next to you
I'm here to tell you
That it is good
That it is true

Birds singing a song
Old paint is peeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Words can't be that strong
My heart is reeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Try
Try to forget what's in the past
Tomorrow is here
Love,
Orange sky above lighting your way
There's nothing to fear

Birds singing a song
Old paint is peeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Words can't be that strong
My heart is reeling
This is that fresh
That fresh feeling

Some people are good
Babe in the 'hood
So pure and so free
I'd make a safe bet
You're gonna get whatever you need

Happy 1000th Birthday!

Happy 1000th (days) birthday to me! lol. Actually that was my age in this online rpg text game I've been playing. Rogue Vampires. Basically it's a fighting game where you live the life of a vampire. 1000 days wow, that means I've been playing this game for almost three years now. Many changes and improvements has been made in this game, in terms of technical, functions and playability. Playing rv requires tons of dedications and commitments; that's if you wanted to become richer and stronger la.

My Profile: limza is azmil spelt backwards.

In order to outdo friends and enemies, a player must not miss any trains, any searchings, any converts, any VALA and whatever it is that makes them richer or stronger. In other words, this game strongly depends on activity. The more active you are, the more likely you'll pwn in the game. And as for me, I'm neither strong nor rich, compared to other players. After playing for almost three years, I dont think owning the game is my objective.

My battle stats. Hitting that 6 mill marks.

I dont mind if I missed any trains, converts etc. I'll do all these things whenever I have the time. I think one of the reasons why I sticked with this game for quite some time is because of the community. I met so many great people, domestic and international friends. Indeed, they are only virtual friends but they are always there when I'm in need. That's why I kept coming. So many great players had left and quit playing, maybe because of the hectic rl but many great newbies had replaced them. It's part of the game and like rl, the 'cycle' is always there. People come, people go.

Soo wish that this is my rl money

Another reason why I kept playing because the essence of routine from the game. When you're not kicking people's ass and warring other covenant's, all you do is basically: train, train and train. Benda rutin. Benda bosan. A large percentage of players quit the game because they cant stand these kind of routine. Since I dont have much commitment atm in my life, so I took up rv as one of the things that I wanted to commit myself with. Haha salunya orang bela pet, bela plant, masuk persatuan kat kolej ka apa ka, tapi aku main rv. wahaha

I wanted to strengthen my perseverance and patience. Who knows. Maybe in the future aku benci dan bosan dgn kerja aku, but somehow I'll manage to go through that benci period. And maybe in the future jugak aku bosan dgn marriage aku. And aku berjaya go through that dull period and end up being happy with my family without doing something silly like kawin lain or anything. Haha. Mintak simpangla jangan jadi kat aku, but it happens.

ok cun

Lagu Hari Ini 6

I was watching family outing season one episod tak ingat, but the guest family was Hyun Jung. Halfway through the episode, I realised one of the background song being played: Me and my boyfriend. It's been quite a while since I last heard it. They're a band from Indonesia. Never knew that they were this big. Grats Mocca.

Me and my botfriend- Mocca

I've got a boyfriend now
He's my dearest pal
He'll always catch me when I fall
He's always there when I call

I've got a boyfriend now
He always talks so loud
Even in a crowded house
He always shows what he got

I share my dreams and all my stories
I don't think I need my diary
If you're teasing me, don't you worry
I will keep you in my memories

When my boyfriend smiles
The world seems all mine
And all the days seems truly fine
Make me reach up for the sky
http://www.free-lyrics.org

Me and my boyfriend now
We're moving so slow
If you really want to know
Come on and join with the show

I share my dreams and all my stories
I don't think I need my diary
If you're teasing me, don't you worry
I will keep you in my memories

When I'm blue. feel so lonely
No one sits here right beside me
I'm gonna call you just to;
"Hurry, come and see me. It's so scary and I need you desperately"

Surat.

Edit: Post removed kerana boleh membunuh self esteem. Sekian terima kasih.

Takhta Kelima

Alhamdulillah. I'm mostly gracious to Allah for granting another opportunity for me to taste this bittersweet success. This is a collective effort. It's not just me. Everybody plays their part. My parents, family, friends, lecturers, rivals; they are the main reason for this wonderful things to happen again. I cant thank them enough, as without them it is impossible to achieve this. With a contented heart I dedicate this feat to them, acknowledging how important they are to me.

My dear study buddies, Hafiz and Yahya did well too scoring 3.78 and 3.71 each. Congratulation guys, you guys worked hard to earn it. Subject registration went well. I doubt class is starting tomorrow, so it's going to be another two days off since Wednesday is a public holiday. Woot! We are approaching our final sem, let finish this on a high note. Next, taktha keenam.

ok cun

Pressure Mounting

I went to Kolej Tunku Abdul Razak this morning, cause they were having this high school musical thingy and Amar is participating. Punyala payah nak cari, but it was a delightful Sunday morning, so I cant complain much. At first when I entered the premises, nampak macam tak happening. Nampak macam event pekak mana tah. Because there's nobody outside. But when I entered the dewan, woah.

Rasa macam kena birthday surprise party. Cheers everywhere. Vuvuzela everywhere. Ok aku tipu, tiup wisel ja tak tiup Vuvuzela pun. I got to see Shazzy and Linda Jasmin in person too. They are two hot mamacita. Haha. I had fun watching through all of it. And Amar won third place, kudos to them. Ok, Amar, you had your share of fun. Now go do something manly, gay boy! lol. (padahal aku pun excited sama tgk depa perform tadi rofl)

Adam pun dah slamat abes register suma. Mama said everything is okay. Cuma hostel la jauh dari faculty and lecture hall. While waiting for us to post the bike, his cricket senior had offered him transportation. Talk about adapting to a new environment. He already has bunch of friends there, whom they had known for years since they were in primary. Im sure Adam is in good hands. The family is staying there for a few days, visiting relatives and see whether adam needs anything.

And as for me, registration day's tomorrow. Probably be going early tomorrow cause i have some debt I need to clear off with the finance department. Hutang insuran 10 henggit. Tu nak pi awai. Sebb rasa cam tak berbaloi beratur lama2 just to clear my debt, so that i can get my sem 5 results and register subjects. Everyone is nervous about their results and that includes me. Let's pray for the best okay everyone? Hopefully I aced that OB paper. Pressure is mounting because the only options I have is either maintaining or going down. There's no way up and the idea of going down send shivers down my spine.

O Allah, grant us calmness and well being heading towards our final semester. O Allah, put affections amongst our hearts, guide us towards peace and save us from any kinds of indecency. Barakah O Allah, bestow upon us Your mercy and success in the end of it all. O Most Merciful and Most Benificient, help us as without You we are nothing.

Arrivederci

The family is going today. But Amar and I are staying home since Amar got his high school musical thingy and my class is starting this monday. Wishing them a safe trip and wishing adam all the best. Go kick some es