Crucial Two.

Okay another post-related post. It has been five days. I still couldn't figure things out yet. At least not thoroughly. But I think I am making progress. And one day I will finally open the door to the path that Im gonna take. It's hard, trying to make a choice that offers abundance opportunities with minimal risk. But we do what we got to do and held responsible for the consequences. Sometimes I wonder whether did I made the right decisions. I'm worried I might suffer the same fate like F. Torres.

He claimed he was a Red. He claimed that he bleeds red. But recently he made the headlines with his mega money transfer to Chelsea. He claimed that Liverpool is not ambitious enough, and there's different needs between him and the club. Upon making his debut at Stamford Bridge, facing non other his former club, he lost to Liverpool. A transfer to Chelsea seems like a downgrade, at least at the moment. A wrong choice, perhaps? I know it is a little harsh to evaluate his success from a match, but at least he should have won against the team he turned his back on kan?

Moving on. A great mentor of mine had advised me to really give it a thought regarding my futures. As in, what I want to become, what are my expectations, what kind of life I want to lead etc. Then from there I can walk backward to today, so that I can carefully pan out things to the way I wanted. She added that I was being too flexible in my life, that's why I still haven't figure out what I want to become. I would settle for anything, e.g: accounts pun boleh, economics pun boleh, finance pun boleh, local boleh, overseas pun boleh. You know, those kind of specific things.

So since I would settle for almost anything, it's giving me headache. She suggested that I set my target, and stick to the road no matter what. She gave me an analogy on how guys would do just anything to get the girl that they want, no matter what method used (mind that my mentor is a she lol). But her analogy is a little bit off with my personality. I am "you're no bigger than me. Thank you. Bye2" kind of guy. tehee. But Im suppose she's right.

Before my past downfall I knew exactly where I want to be. What car I'll be riding. When I am going to get marry. I knew specifics and details, and I clung on to it no matter what. The sad part is not being able achieve my plans the way I wanted. Imagined the mounting hopes and effort shattered. The degree of pain makes me the flexible guy I am right now. When there are no expectations, it's impossible to be hurt. Baby steps. First I've got to figure out what kind of life that I will lead first. Bye~