Good Friday

If you're going through a bad break up, or if your relationship with someone did not develop into something that you hope for, how long is your 'mourning period'? And by mourning period I mean the period where you're still sad, you cant seem to get over him/her, let alone to move on with your life to find somebody new. Some people say it's half the length of the relationship. e.g: If the relationship took 1 year, mourning period should be 6 months. Some say it's the same as the period of relationship. e.g: If relationship took 1 year, mourning period should be 1 year too. And there are also people who claimed that mourning period should be longer than that.

But according to standard norm, the longer it is the better. Because the sooner you move on with your life, other people would perceive you as the bad guy/girl. And the longer it takes for you to mourn, people would think that you're such a keeper. That you were the better significant half compared to your ex. They would go "Ohhh, honeyy.." and loads of other sympathy gesture because apparently you were sincere, committed and loyal. I dont blame the society. It's the norm and that's how majorities think. I myself experienced the same thing last year. This (ex) significant half of mine were disappointed that I moved on too fast and questioned my sincerity.

Well for starters, I don't believe in this mourning period thingy. Here's why. Just bear with me while I explain. First let us start with the love cycle. Like everything else, love has it's own cycle too. Nine stages to be exact. You can google it or read about it. But basically in order to simplify, it goes like this.

Stage 1: Boy fall in love.

Stage 2: Boy/Girl or both fall out of love.

Stage 3: Boy broke up.

Stage 4: Boy is sad.

Stage 5: Boy sort out his life. Concentrate maybe on work or studies.

Stage 6: Boy gets bored and lonely.

Stage 7: Back to stage 1.

So that pretty much sums it up. There's no beginning. And no ending. Just things you repeatedly do over and over again. Okay now the cycle is done. Another topic pulak: Baggage. This you can google up yourself too. But basically in definition it means painful memories, mistrust, and hurt carried around from the past sexual or emotional meltdown. A plain example of a baggage: You do not want to be involve with someone from the health and medical industry because your ex was in that line before.

Okay now that we're cleared up with both topics, now the reasoning. Im done with the cycle. There's no point crying over spilled milk. You tried one thing and it didn't worked out, so you move on. Find things that work for you. But how are you going to achieve that if you sit around wallowing over something that had happened? Dont cry because it's over, instead smile because it happened. And yeah, Im also done with this emotional baggage thingy. I carried baggage for almost two years and finally I realized how much it burdened me. How it ruined me. How unnecessary it was. Hey, everything was going down the drain, might as well threw these baggage together with it. So when things didn't worked out, I simply started a clean slate.

Start anew. That way you'd be happier. You'd get to know people easier because that doubts, judgement and stereotype of yours is gone. And the sooner you do that, you'd knew that you're one step closer in finding the right one. Yeah it hurts at first. Recognized that you're in pain. Feel the pain. But it should'nt take long. Because sooner or later you'll be back at stage 1. Okay, Im not saying that you should whore yourself up. Seeing people right away. Give your phone number to strangers etc. Not to that extend. Just have the mentaliy "kalau ada buat lagu ada, kalau takdak buat la lagu takdak. Ok cun.