We emerged as the second runner up in yesterday's futsal tourney. It was my first major honor, one to be remembered. Thanks to Pali, Ari, Dowfy, Syahir and Yon for all your hard work. We fought like a warrior, but yet we still maintained our sportsmanship. Considering that this is a newly assembled team, we did quite well. To put the icing on the cake, 4 out of 6 players from our team were selected to represent the college in the upcoming futsal tournament next week. Me included, but I'm not very sure if I can make it with my injuries and all.
I feel 'alive' for as long as I was on the pitch. Football really is the best medicine. But later, as soon as futsal finished, I'm back to my usual self. Miserable and crestfallen. I'm a bloody hypocrite. Acted cool and whatnot but in truth it is the opposite. Look at you go Azmil, lying to yourself over and over again.
-Instead asking for a helping hand, I pushed people away.
-Instead of accepting things, I wanted to fix things.
-Instead of blaming myself, I blame others.
-Instead of accepting, I kept on denying.
-I claimed that I don't have baggage, but truth be it; I'm damaged.
-I claimed that I live in the present, but I'm still stuck in the past.
-I claimed that I know everything, but all I can see is shades of gray.
-To me everything is about maths equation, prioritizing extrinsic value rather than intrinsic value.
Will be on sabbatical for a while after this. Don't know when I'll be back, but when everything is sorted out I'll write again. Too much emo post lately, which I dont think is appropriate for the public to see. So see you when I see you. It took me ages to love. It's gonna take me ages to un-love.
As if there is such thing. pfftt
damn.
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