Budak Kampung

I am grateful to be called up for another scholarship interview last Thursday. This time it's Yayasan Sime Darby. I was emailed and told to come by the Sime Darby Business School in Kiara for the interview on June 2nd. They told me that I have already passed the first stage of the selection and I need to go through the second and the third stage of the selection.

Second stage being the impromptu speech and the third stage being the online assessment. For the impromptu speech, we will be drawn random topics and we are given ten minutes for our presentation. And only then, they'll shortlist us whether we're qualified to go to the third stage or not. The third stage consists of two types of test; numerical analysis and verbal analysis.

Aku dok bertagak jugak, nak pi ka tak pi. Motivation takdak langsung. Aku dok asyik pikiaq, pi all the way to KL, cuma untuk cakap 10 minit. And kalau tak lepas second stage, rasa cam wasted ja. But mama made it clear that she don't mind, that I need to go there and just enjoy myself. So the plan was to go there for a couple of days and and go watch Adam play for Penang in Sukma over there. But something came up and in the end I had to go there alone.

Let's save and skip the stories of the hardship I've been through just to get to the place. Big deal, tempat orang, mana kita nak tau jalan tui dak? There I get to meet all the overly smart student who pwned examination just for fun. Ada yang lepasan matrix, ada lepasan stpm, you hardly find a diploma holder. Ada jugak yang tengah undergone their first year of degree. Pointer takyah tanya la. Semua otai. Met this guy from Uniten with a CGPA of 4.00. Engineering student with 4.00 cgpa? masa tu rasa diri kerdil gila.

Ada 5 batch yang kena panggil untuk second stage. Setiap batch ada 30 orang. So roughly, you have 150 candidates fighting for 22 spots in the program. YSD have an extremely (i quote) rigorous selection process. During the second stage, I drew the topic "Health is the most important thing in life. Share your opinion". I dont know what I did, but I stand there struggling to NOT look like an idiot. I mean, that was actually my initial plan. But my assessor was so cool, in time I gained confidence and my speech got better and better. Alhamdulillah.

And yeah, I managed to get into the next stage as well. Alhamdulillah. From my batch, out of 30 people, only 9 people managed to get into the third stage. 2 orang ja melayu. And then all hell broke loose. The online assessment was a pain in the ass. They give questionnaires that we need to answer in a very short amount of times. 4 soalan dalam masa 3 minit. Lepas 3 minit abes jawab ka tak abes jawab ka, the web browser akan refresh pergi soalan seterusnya. The questions are difficult and you need to use your analytical skill to answer them. In short, they're trying to separate the genius from the non genius.

Kak Martha, the coordinator told us that they'll let us know in one week if we were to go to the final stage. Yes, ada lagi satu stage. The final stage. Sometime next month. So sometime tomorrow or the day after, they'll inform us. I'm not expecting much. I did badly in the online assessment. But to come all this way and rub shoulders with some of the country's best and finest students, is already an honour to me. To me it's already a heck of an achievement. Coming from an unknown college, against students from highly decorated ipts, well im really proud to be an ICT student. :-) till then.

Bad Luck

Been experiencing a run of bad luck this week. Earlier this week, I was ticketed by the police. Why? Sebab melawan arus jalan. Bloody hell. It was 4 am in the morning. I was at seberang jaya, just going back home from futsal. Being a mainlander, how am i suppose to know which road yang one way and which road yang tak one way? Bloody police takdak courtesy langsung.

Earlier that day, we were robbed of a futsal game by some lowlifes who thinks that they can just come to the futsal centre and play against us. It was plain simple. Kami tak set game dgn depa, tapi depa perasan kami set game dengan depa. Miscommunication at its best. Bila mai seberang jaya all the way from the island, and tgk kami main dengan team lain, mula tak elok nak mintak duit minyak tol segala. Nabil got into troubles, but credits to Nizam and co, the lads whom we were playing against that night for being such a gentleman in handling the matter. In the end, we teamed up with nizam's team playing against those lowlifes.

The next day on Sunday, I played in a futsal tournament at Seri Delima. We lose in the second round and to our dismay, we really had that game in our hand. We had countless of chances but we didn't find the goals that we needed. Talking about bad luck, huh? Ada 10 chances tapi, 1 pun tak masuk. *sigh. Then on Monday, abah asked me to opened up a company bank account. Abah set up a company to do some business but since abah is a government servant he cant register the company under his name. That's how I came along, using my name as the company director serving as his proxy.

Tapi bila nak bukak akaun, chip IC aku lak tak boleh pakai. So tak bleh go through the thumb print process and in the end, kena postpone. But since it's urgent because abah needed it asap, then we had no choice but to remove me out from the company. But there could be a silver lining in this all. With me applying for scholarships etc., having my name as a company director could hinder my chances of getting one. Especially government-based scholarhip like JPA.

There are others that happened as well, but as the post got longer, the moodier i got. Dah rasa cam tak best dah nak cita lagi. Spoil mood betui. Urgh. Hopefully this series of bad luck will end latest by Friday. Because come Friday, both results for USM intake and YSD scholarship final stage candidates list are out. Man, dont think I could handle two bad news in one day. Harap2 la suma ok. Amin. Amin. Amin.

Giddy Up

Yeay my first post in May. Not so much in a mood to update really. Let's see what I've been up to the past twenty-something days.

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Okay fine, none worth mentioning. Sure did enjoyed it though. Motivation takdak, kerajinan takdak, habuk ja lebih. Played lots of futsal. Hung out a lot. It was very much like summer holiday. A never ending one that is. Got into a fight. Having people to block me from their fb, then unblocked, and then re-friend, but then keep pissing them off. Then having people to remove me from their friend list, but then re-added them. Lol what in the world i was i up to?

Nak cari some part time jobs, but I realized that I cant do them anytime soon. Got a couple of scholarship interview/assessment earlier next month that requires me to be away, traveling and all. I dont want to jinx it, so i guess I'll tell more about it next time. Motivation, please come back. Im not very much looking forward to these interviews. Tak rasa excited langsung. Rasa macam malas nak pegi. Rasa macam tak confident.

Ya Allah, please give me strength, bless me with fortitude. Hopefully everything goes well. This week, result for the usm admission will be out. *sigh. Have a big month ahead of me. And I hope I can lose some holiday weight, get on that horse and march on.

Led and Jerry

The parents were discussing about the possibilities of me studying ACCA, and they are all behind me, should I be any interested to commit. They are willing to fork out that cash for the fees and give me all the support I need. Thanks abah, mama. But I'm no free rider. I am obliged to help out too. And due to the nature of the classes that are held like once a week, I can find the time to work and help them pay the fees.

But when I tried to picture it in my mind, it scared the shit out of me. It's not the money that scares me. And it's not the job either. And definitely not the crazy ass low passing mark.

If you can see starting from F4 onwards, the percentage who'd passed is very very low. Lagi banyak orang fail dari orang pass. But that don't scares me neither. I have faith in myself. I always believe that I'll do well.

The thing that scares me is the settling down. I played it in my mind over and over again. Me attending up to three classes per week while at the same time working to make ends meet. With no football, no life and no friends (lets face it, ain't many malay's taking the course), I asked myself whether I'm up for it. Same shit, different day for 3 years. No more 'otak seminit' decision making. No more possibilities of a career in things other than accounting.

Settling down is under rated. For sure, it sounded like it's easy. Settle down. Ang settle semua isu-isu pasal future ang. You made a commitment, stick to it. End of story. But the things we have to let go, it's too much of an ask.

Jerry: Son, I was far more broken that you'll ever be. And look at me now. Don't get me wrong. Settling down is... a challenge. It's the biggest challenge of your life.

Barney: So how do you do it?

Jerry: A magician never reveal his greatest trick. But I'll give you a hint. You gotta meet the right girl.

Aku tau ang ada masalah cinta

During my stay in Melaka I somewhat had the reputation of being the 'love doctor'. Zzz. I was the 'go to' guy whenever my friends have problems in relationship etc. You name it, I've done it all. Jadi orang tengah, jadi listener, jadi problem solver, jadi matchmaker, jadi hitch etc. Mungkin sebab time tu I had a stable 4 to 5 years of relationship experience under my belt, people looked up to me. Or mungkin jugak sebab aku busy body, nak amik tau psai orang.

But when Im back here in Penang, I slowed down. By that time I dont have much to boast, no more stable relationship, failed that one terribly some more. Maybe thats why I slowed down. The master had fallen, so why bother taking students? lol. But it all changed when Faruk let my friends in with that little secret of mine. That exaggerating son of a gun told my friend how I would go to everybody telling "Aku tau ang ada masalah cinta. Jom pi minum ka apa ka".

Hell no. I never do that! kojaq. After that, I had people coming to me asking this and that. Like recently when this team mate of mine going through a bad break up. Paan dgn selambanya "weh ang klu ada masalah cinta ang leh cita kat azmil, dia leh tlg" wtf kojaaqqq.. I hardly knew the dude. And the guy without giving much thought poured everything to me. Man, im too old for this crap.

It's not that I dont like helping people but Im worried I might gave them bad advises. Some of these people are younger, as much as 5 years younger. Zaman aku dgn zaman depa tak sama. Lol. We might think differently and my advises could be out of date. But so far so good. Maybe Im cut out for this role. Being a theoretical scientist (cewah) rather than an experimental scientist. Teori tip top. Praktikal fail.

Borrow, beg, and steal and lie and cheat.

Thought that only Chris Martin has the voice. Turns out the wifey Gwyneth Paltrow is quite a singer too. With a little bit help from the autotune of course.

This one's taken from Glee and of course they sang the radio version 'Forget You'; not the original, vulgar version. And for the record, I do not watch Glee because I'm manly and macho like that. Just terjumpa the vid ja. kekeke.

Tapi depa takley celen Cee Lo lah. Definitely a beautiful, old school piece. Despite the language.

Third Time is the charm

Real Madrid won the Copa Del Rey last night after almost 18 years since the last time they win it. Los Blancos reclaimed the cup through a text book header from Christiano Ronaldo in the extra time after stalemated in 90 minutes. I'm not going to talk about how they won it. A win is still a win, but my predictions were right after all. It was their third encounter of the year, third encounter since the self proclaimed 'the special one' Jose Mourinho took charge of Real Madrid.

Everybody would remember how the first encounter went; Barca battered them five to nothing at the Camp Nou. An the recent second encounter last Saturday, where Real managed a draw despite being down to ten man. And the third and the latest; last night at Mestalla during the Copa Del Rey. History repeats again. Last season, when Jose was at the helm at Inter, they met Barcelona four times.

Twice during the group stage, and twice during the double legged semi final. First they drew at the San Siro, then they lost to Barca at the Camp Nou. But the third time is a charm, where they won against Barca 3-1. Inter won the ties and the rest is history. They went on to win the Champions League that year. Mourinho left Inter for Madrid, starting new legacies for the Bernabeu faithful.

I can really see it coming. The way Real Madrid played Barca during the second encounter has hinted that Real is no longer the team that was trashed by Barca in November. Real sat back, absorbed the pressures carefully, and tried to attack Barcelona on the break; the same tactics that Jose deployed for Inter when going up against Barca last year. Yes people criticize the way Real Madrid played, calling them anti football etc.

Even Real's legend DiStefano had a go at Mourinho saying Mourinho was scared shitless against Barcelona. Yes, Barcelona was dangerous on the move, but Real was more threatening in attacks. Mou is indeed a special one. Beating the current best team in the world is not easy, but if you played your cards right, anything is possible. Even if you dont succeed in your first and second try, it's not possible to emerged victorious in the third time. Kita tunggu Champions League minggu depan pulak. :-)

halamadrid

Macam2 Komed

I mentioned a few weeks ago about Macam-Macam Komed organized by our Ict-Uitm students from the masscommunication course (KOMED). The concept of the show is sorta like Macam-Macam Aznil, only cooler since Azmil is in it. lol.

I cant remember much what we talked about but basically we talked about achievement, the work I have done and my future plans. I was told that there's another guest during the talkshow but she cant make it, so it was me alone being interrogated by the hosts. Malas nak cakap banyak. You can read more about it here. And credits to Dhyra for the photos. And thanks Komed for inviting me over.

Wedding Bells

Chris Martin is a great lad. The Coldplay frontman recently flew all the way from New York to London just to play for a charity gig for the owner of a pub which he was a regular customer back in the days. The owner and his spouse died and due to shortage of fund to send them away, he and a few celebrities began to raise money.

He managed to play wedding bells, a song which had yet to be released officially and later revealed that the song is about taking a swipe at liam gallagher, the Oasis frontman whom six years ago had performed a put-down on him calling him a 'plant pot'. After wedding bells, Chris Martin asked for request and ironically Oasis's Wonderwall was requested. He agreed, but not after he pulled a heckler and having a pop back at liam first.

Oasis and Coldplay are definitely up there in my favourite Brit band list alongside the Beatles. And Pink Floyd. And Iron Maiden. They came from the same country and their style and genre are quite similar in many ways, so it's hard to compare these two. But if I were to choose between the two, I'd pick Oasis any day. I realized that I listened to Coldplay more than Oasis nowadays but I grew up listening to Oasis. Some of their stuff is not my cup of tea, but some of their musics I dig.

Plus, Liam is a Man City fan, who despise Man United more than any fan in the world. tehee.

Baik Akan Memburu.

Taken from Good Will Hunting (1997)

Will: So why do you think I should work for the National Security Agency?

NSA Officer: Well, you'd be working on the cutting edge. You'd be exposed to the kind of technology that you wouldnt see anywhere else, because we've classified it. Superstring theory. Chaos Math. Advanced Algorithms.

Will: Code Breaking.

NSA Officer: Well that's one aspect of what we do.

Will: Oh, come on. I mean, that is what you do. You guys handle 80% of the intelligence work load. You're seven times the size of the CIA.

NSA Officer: We don't like to brag about that, Will. But you're exactly right. So the way I see it, the question isn't 'Why should you work for the NSA?' The question is: 'Why shouldn't you?'

Will: Why shouldn't I work for the NSA. That's a tough one but I'll take a shot. (Chuckle)

Will: Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

Schadenfreude

Upon reading my previous post, a friend asked me whether schadenfreude do exist. We had an intriguing debate pondering over it's existence. Having no background in social science, the only way we could try to discuss the subject is by relating it to real life situation. I just googled it just now and apparently according to scientific studies, schadenfreude do exist. They did some brain scanning and try to stimulate the desired region of the brain using the misfortune of others.

Sometimes (Or all the time) we take pleasure in other people's misfortune. For example lets take a look at Charlie Sheen. Seeing Charlie Sheen living the real life of his fictional character in two and a half men, Charlie Harper, a hedonistic, self-destructing alcoholic really put a smile on your face (or in your heart). "Senyum dalam hati," bak kata Faizal. The degree of taking pleasure of someone else misfortune is out of the question. Banyak ka sikit ka, you're still evil. lol.

After we agreed to a conclusion, we sit back trying to find one person whom we think didn't have it in them. To our amazement, there's none. Just when we thought that we'd found the perfect guy or girl, there's always that 'tiny' incident that we remembered which happened that kinda blemished their clean records. And that leads to another question. Is our circle of friends that bad, or is it there's no schadenfreude-free guys out there? hehe

And no, Im not implying that I am schadenfreude-free. Just because I talked about it freely and argues whos have it and who dont does not make me perfect. I for instance would love to see the look on my friend's face when the team he supported lost in their big game. And I love like it so much a little if the girl that I like just broke up with her boyfriend. Does that make me evil? Probably. But we feel what we want to feel. We cant help it. It's just a passing thoughts. But never turn that passing thoughts into an action. Niat jahat, kalau tak dilaksanakan tak berdosa. Insyaallah.

Menuju Medan Bakti

It's decided. We're sending two teams for this week's Piala Yang DiPertua. Sir Jimmy has divided us into

Team A.

Hadi (C)

Farhan

Naqi

Nizam

Rizal

Nabil (GK)

Shahfudin

Team B.

Dowfy

Hafiz Ringgo

Pali (GK)

Safwan Pong

Azmil (C)

Ari

Suhail

For the past week we've been training, training and training. We had a few friendlies too. Lawan Kongsi, IKBN and Teknik BP. Everybody is beaming with confidence. I'm glad that we're so united regardless which teams that we belong. I thought that after our early exit in the previous tournament, people would slow down a wee bit. But we're stronger than ever, motivated as ever. Siap chip in duit sorang sikit nak buat jersi. Even the girls team pun buat.

Will unveil you the pics of our new jersey after the new kit introduction ceremony. Cewah ada ceremony pulak. Haha. It's only our second tournament, we should be realistic. Kalau boleh lepas grouping stage it should count as an achievement already. After all this is a four star tournament. It offers three thousand ringgit for the cash reward and teams outside Penang is going to participate.

A little bird told me that some people are uneasy with me playing for the college because konon-kononnya I have one eye on the Pingat Emas. Fyi pingat emas is the highest recognition that ICT award to their most high achieving student during the convocation. In order to get a gold medal, a student must achieve a distinctive feat in academics, sports, curricular etc. Pingat emas is not given every year. Ada tahun yang depa bagi, ada tahun yang depa tak bagi kat sapa-sapa.

And just because my CV seems to be lacking in the sports/competition department, they said I have hidden agenda. Lol. Well, first thanks for caring to the extend of constructing my imaginary CV sedangkan aku sendiri pun tak terfikir sampai camtu skali. Second, I dont give a rat ass about the gold medal. I play because I love football and I'm a proud ICTian. Nobody could take that away from me. As if those people would understand what it means to score goals and to throw your body in front of the goal line blocking the ball.

If only they love football as much as I do, they'd understand. Even if they understand pun, it's useless. They just want a reason to have a go at me. And even if I do have one eye on the gold medal pun, what seems to be the problem? Schadenfreude, much? Haih. I dont have to justify myself to people who don't know jack about the team. The boys love me. And I love them. That's all that matters. Sound kinda gayish lol =_="

Crazy Bets

We chilled by the field, sipping lemonade and smoking cigars, and suddenly we came up with this really stupid idea. Betting. No money will be involve, only punishments. And it involves the UEFA Champions League. We have two bets going around. One that will involve excruciating pain and another will involve a huge embarrassment.

Bet 1.

We need to predict who will win this year's Champions League. The winner(s) gets to shoot the loser(s) in the their topless back with a BB gun. Three times. Three bullets. Why topless? Because it's much more painful having the BB pellet hit you in the skin. Why shoot from the back? Because it's much more fun that way. The anticipation of not knowing when it's coming is much more painful than the shot itself.

BB gun yang bakal membuatkan anda tidoq menerap.

Here's our prediction.

Azmil: Barcelona

Naqi: Real Madrid

Nabil: Real Madrid

Yus: Barcelona

If Real Madrid win, I'm gonna get hit 6 times (3 from each of the brothers). And if Barcelona emerged as champion, Yus and I get to shoot them 3 times each too. Should any team win the CL other than Barcelona or Real Madrid, say Manchester United or Schalke, the bet become ineffectual. Nobody win.

Bet 2.

Well, I cant reveal any particulars about it just yet because we made a pact that we wont tell anybody about it, since it will defeat the purpose of the bet: to embarrass. Will talk about it once we're done with the bet. But I can assure you the punishment is tough and the stakes are high. We need to use every bits of our football knowledge in order to win. Okay think I should zip it now before I reveal any unnecessary details. Bye

:-(

Sedihnya.

My Nike Tiempo, tapak pecah.

My Nike T90, dah koyak sikit.

Even my legendary Adidas Predator. Lekang. A gift from someone dear.

My Asics Gel Kanbarra still in good condition. Haven't done much running tbh. Awesome running shoe though.

Getting a Sala after this. But Im broke. Sponsor me, anyone?

"Cappie" Tau Gamma

Taken from Greek Season Two Episode 20

Cappie: So, uh.. I've been waiting for the perfect moment to give you something, and um, well I think now's as good as time as any.

Casey: Oh? What is it?

Cappie: I want you to wear my lavaliere. I love you Casey.

Casey: I love you too.

Cappie: You're not as excited as I thought you'd be. Is it because of where it's been?

Cassey: What? No, it's just, um.. I didnt bungee jump today because I was scared. And if I stay in Cyprus, I'd be staying because I'm scared.

Cappie: Oh. You're going to Washington arent you?

Casey: I have to do what's best for me, and that's law school. Dont you want me to go and succeed?

Cappie: I do. I guess I'm being selfish because I know that means I'm gonna lose you.

Casey: Cap you can come with me. To Washington! You can transfer..

Cappie: I'm not sure I can leave.

Casey: And I cant stay. But Cap, I totally understand why you're scared to go.

Cappie: I''m not scared.

Casey: That's okay. Leaving something can be terrifying..

.

Cappie: Is that what you're doing? Are you leaving me behind?

Casey: No, I want us to move forward, together!

Cappie: I dont want to move forward.

Casey: Because you dont want to grow up.

Cappie: Then what other choice do we have?

Casey: We are two different people who love each other very much. It seems like the only place where our differences don't matter is in college.

Cappie: Maybe this is just one of those college relationships huh?

Casey: If it is, then it's the best one of all time. Look, let's just finish the year out together, and...

Cappie: No screw it. You know what? Why wait? If you dont have faith in us than that? Then we should break up now.

Casey: No I dont.. I dont want too.

Cappie: Well too late. It's done. All right? You know I cant believe that I was going to give this to you tonight. I would've felt pretty college doing something like that.

Kejohanan Sukan Futsal & Bola Jaring IPTA-IPTS Pulau Pinang 2

The court was wet, and very small. The organizer duct taped (half of) the tennis court for boundaries and lines and put two handball goalpost on each side to make up the futsal court. That's bad news for us. We've been training in larger pitches and our style of play didn't suit the surface of the court. We played possession football, and with the conditions we were in, it was impossible to keep the ball for long. The best way to play under these kind of conditions is to play quick and direct.

But the thing is, we dont have many 'direct' players in the team. I think the only players with direct gameplay is Dowfy and me. The others, like Farhan, Nizam and Hadi are more indirect and like to keeps the ball longer before releasing it for the killer pass. What Im trying to say is in situation like this, the different between the loser and winner is not down to their technical aptitude, but more to a physical aptitude. With disciplined defending and organized attacking, any team could beat any team, regardless of who's the better footballer.

I myself witnessed Inti College beat the crap out of another team that has academy and state players in it. They sit back, wait for their chance to expose any mistakes, and quickly launched their deadly counters. It's funny, cause we always used to make racist, stereotype joke about chinese footballer: 'pakai kasut mahal, pastu tendang bola jauh-jauh and ligan bola'. And to witness a good team lose against that 'tendang bola jauh-jauh pastu ligan' tactic is overwhelming. Okay enough about tactics. Lets get back to the team.

We lost our first game against Perda Tech. 1-0. It was a silly goal. Kind of like pinball. Kena orang tu kena orang ni, kena kepala denih, pastu goal. Hardly a build up goal. The second game against Kolej Komuniti Bayan Baru, we won 2-0. Naveen played for KKBB and it's great to go against a great player like him. Both our goal was hardly a built up goal too. We just took advantage of their mistake and we got lucky. And that's left us with our last game, against Kitab. Kolej Islam Antarabangsa. It was a do or die match. A draw wasn't enough for us to go through.

Kitab was playing for a draw, and our desperation to look for a goal has made some of our players to lose their cool. One Mario Ballotelli in the team is hard enough to handle, try more. We lose our cool. We whine a lot to the ref, we were looking for a fight and by the second half, we dont play football anymore. We played wrestling. We have too many young, hot blood players in the team. Kitab or not kitab, muka baik or muka penyagak, they will always look for the chance to provoke us. I know it, I've been doing it all my life playing football. It's basic MDP 101. Pengenalan kepada Menganjing dan Provokasi. We all learnt that in soccer school.

We lost that game 1-0. The players were making a scene whining to the ref, and kitab took a quick free kick, and voila. One on one with Pali. That was a stupid goal to concede. We lose in terms of mentality, and clearly we need to learn from this. Hopefully it never happens again. A loss is still a loss, I cant complain, and I cant give excuses. But the game was already loss even before the whistle blows. We dont have that right mentality and attitude just yet. Nevermind, 17hb ni ada tournament lagi. Plenty of time, plenty to improve. :-)

Kejohanan Sukan Futsal & Bola Jaring IPTA-IPTS Pulau Pinang

Everybody was on a buoyant mood that day. It was a Saturday morning. One of the few weekend morning where we dont really mind waking up early from. Because we have footy to play that day. hehe. Paan, Nizam and me arrived early with Sir Zabidi. We had our breakfast some where near Poli and waited for the others. Mr Wan our HEP was already there. After a while the boys and the girls arrived.

The boys are sleepy and yawning as usual, while the girls as usual, are chatty. I called upon the futsal team for our last tactical meeting. But later, rain started pouring like cats and dogs. The girls carried on with their netball tournament, because playing netball in the rain appears to not bring up any safety issue, unlike futsal. So futsal was postponed to the next day. Our strength that day was spent cheering on the netball team. Not that we wanted to since we don't really understand netball and their positional issue: GA dgn GS ja boleh masuk D, bila defend tak boleh steal the ball etc. (tak mencabar langsung game ni hehe).

But since they needed all the support we could give, we became the pompom boys. But hey we were really effective though. Because we don't just support, we intimidate the opposition. You know la how girls are vulnerable to verbal attacks. So from outside the court if we see any opening or 'lubuk', we'd start trashtalking. We're mean I tell you. But somebody's gotta take one for the team am I right? It was worth it though. The girls managed to get into the quarter final the next day against usm. By noon we were already back home in Penang.

The next day, as usual we went to poli, again. We tried to maintain the same momentum we had from the day before but as soon as we started warming up, it rained. Again, we have to wait for the organizer to decide whether to continue or postpone the tournament. Thank God the rain stopped after the girls finished their match. They lost to usm by a big margin. Too much respect I supposed, since the big sis has been training them. To be continued.. mls gila hari ni.

Non-believer

Anywhere you are, I am near
Anywhere you go, I'll be there
Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see
How every single promise I keep
Cuz what kind of guy would I be
If I was to leave when you need me most

based on a true story, or so they say.

song says it all, but we'll see..

twenty ringgit says not for long..

any takers?

Semboyan telah berbunyi..

Say hello to the captain of ICT futsal team. tehee.

#5: Fav number. Always. Since 03

Today Cik Jimmy did his final selection for the team. Seven creme de la creme was chosen and I'm given the captain's armband. Well here's the line up for tomorrow's contigent:

Manager: Wan Zabidi

Coach: Norulazmi (Jimmy)

Team official: Ari

Players: Ridzal

Nizam

Farhan

Pali (GK)

Hadi

Azmil (C)

Dowfy

Well done lads. You guys deserved it. For those who didn't make the cut, there's always other tournament in the future. I felt bad at first. It feels as if that I've stolen a spot in the team. I mean, it wasn't my intention to get selected at the first place. I'm no longer an ICT student. When I participated during the selection tournament last week pun, Naqi and Shah vouched for me to the HEP and Sir Jimmy.

Full kit: The legendary orange jersey

But still, we received our chances equally. Even yang tak terpilih pun masa tournament last week can come for training to try their luck. There's no special treatment towards anybody. Like everybody else, I worked my ass off. Day in day out. Selamba ja sliding tackle atas simen. But it was worth every bruises, cuts and wounds to hear that I am chosen to wear that orange jersey tomorrow.

The windbreaker, with trousers

And oh..today I was invited to this talk show organised by Komed in conjunction of the ICT Curriculum Day. They wanted me to talk about my achievement and maybe try to inspire others. It went well, I supposed. But more about that later. I thought my sabbatical would take longer, given my emotional turmoil and all. But this week has been quite a turning point for me. With futsal, Macam-Macam Komed and other things, I realized that there's more to life than this.

Back in the old days, ICT was a feared futsal team. Sebut ja KTP, orang nanti kia. Seriously. Our seniors had left a legacy. They have gone places and we hope that we can emulate those success too, now that the team is back again after so long. Anyway, better get some sleep. Big day tomorrow. Come support us if you're free. Kami lawan kat Politeknik Seberang Perai esok. Wish us luck.

Her best days will be some of my worst

We emerged as the second runner up in yesterday's futsal tourney. It was my first major honor, one to be remembered. Thanks to Pali, Ari, Dowfy, Syahir and Yon for all your hard work. We fought like a warrior, but yet we still maintained our sportsmanship. Considering that this is a newly assembled team, we did quite well. To put the icing on the cake, 4 out of 6 players from our team were selected to represent the college in the upcoming futsal tournament next week. Me included, but I'm not very sure if I can make it with my injuries and all.

I feel 'alive' for as long as I was on the pitch. Football really is the best medicine. But later, as soon as futsal finished, I'm back to my usual self. Miserable and crestfallen. I'm a bloody hypocrite. Acted cool and whatnot but in truth it is the opposite. Look at you go Azmil, lying to yourself over and over again.

-Instead asking for a helping hand, I pushed people away.

-Instead of accepting things, I wanted to fix things.

-Instead of blaming myself, I blame others.

-Instead of accepting, I kept on denying.

-I claimed that I don't have baggage, but truth be it; I'm damaged.

-I claimed that I live in the present, but I'm still stuck in the past.

-I claimed that I know everything, but all I can see is shades of gray.

-To me everything is about maths equation, prioritizing extrinsic value rather than intrinsic value.

Will be on sabbatical for a while after this. Don't know when I'll be back, but when everything is sorted out I'll write again. Too much emo post lately, which I dont think is appropriate for the public to see. So see you when I see you. It took me ages to love. It's gonna take me ages to un-love.

As if there is such thing. pfftt

damn.

Losing Faith

Taken from Season 6 Episode 20. The scene where House met his therapist Dr. Nolan for their weekly appointment.

Nolan: Something about relationships made you go out and provoke a fight. Wilson and Sam have a relationship. You're not thrilled about it..

House: They're happy. Why should I screw that up. Everyone's happy. Everyone's moving in together. Wilson and Sam, Cuddy and Lucas. Even Alvie's...

Nolan: Cuddy and Lucas are moving in together? You didn't mention that.

House: They talked about moving in together before. It's no big news.

Nolan: Cuddy..(suddenly remembers somethings and went to his laptop) Cuddy.. 'Approach To The Acute Abdoment'. Written by Ernest T. Cuddy, MD. Any relation to your Cuddy?

House: Her great gradfather. I've had it for years. Always meant to give it to her for a special occasion.

Nolan: Like...her house warming?

House: It's just a gift..(annoyed)

Nolan: A woman you care about is taking one step further away from you and closer to someone else? I-I think I can safely say yes, it's significant if you don't mention it. You were willing to punish the husband of your patient because you identified with him. He was also losing someone he loved.

House: I'm not gonna go out and get hammered because a woman I'm not even with, is moving with someone. That'd be pathetic. To hell with this.... When I first came to you I told you that I wanted to be happy. And I followed your advise. And instead, I'm just miserable. How is this working for me?

Nolan: It takes time.

House: For a year, I've done everything you asked, and everybody else is happy. I run on my treadmill. You just sit there and watch. You're a faith healer. You take advantage of people who want to believe. But there's nothing in your bag of tricks.

Self destruct

You lost big money in your investment. She broke up with you. You have daddy issue. You failed in your exams. Your parents getting a divorce. Big deal. You either move on, or you can choose the more popular way to deal with problems: to self destruct. Well here's the top 8 self destruct behavior you can choose from, who knows you'd be able to fix things by getting sympathy..

1. Gluttony

Makan banyak. Minum banyak. Yeah sure it takes the problem off your mind but look forward to those days you'd be injecting insuline and the day you'd realized that your shirts 'shrunk'.

2. Adrenaline

Bawak motor. Koyak minyak sampai abes. Pi jelutong expressway. Cari roadblock. Tunjuk middle finger dekat polis. Lari dari polis. Even if you managed to outrun them,go turn yourself in. Camna orang nak simpati kalau tak kena tangkap, kan?

3. Poison.

Isap rokok, drink alcohol, ambik ubat goyang, hidu gam dan sewaktu dengannya. Nothing can compare to the euphoric effect you're experiencing. But later after that, kantoikan diri anda. Tak macho dan tak dikasihanilah kalau tak kantoi betui dak? buat-buat la tertelefon ex-gf anda ketika anda tengah goyang, atau memandulah dengan berbahaya di depan balai ketika anda mabuk.

4. The jiwang factor.

Hari tiba-tiba hujan. Keluaq umah dan berjalan di dalam hujan selama setengah jam. Bayangkan seolah-olah ada lagu sedih sebagai background music anda. Tapi jangan buat dalam masa dua tiga hari ini. Takut hujan radioaktif disebabkan reaktor nuklear di Jepun meletup baru-baru ni. To be safe, shower dekat rumah would be a great substitute.

5. The Lust derivation.

Pi rumah urut. Or pergi Love Lane. From just 30-50 ringgit, you'd get them to do whatever you want. Kinky or non kinky. Sexual or non sexual. Heck you can also ask them to say 'I love you', something that you've been wanting to hear from your ex.

6. The quit displacement.

Jika and bekerja, jangan pergi kerja sampai boss anda telefon anda dan menjerit 'you're fired' ala-ala Donald Trump. Jika anda masih belajar, jangan pergi kelas sampai lecturer anda barred anda dari ambik exam. Bila kawan anda cuba menasihati anda, jerkah mereka dan ckp "ampa taktau apa erti cinta"

7. The blackmailing paradigm

Ugut orang-orang yang menyakitkan anda; ex-boyfriend, ex-employer, ex-husband, etc. Jika mereka mendakwa anda di mahkamah, jangan lawyered up, instead represent diri sendiri. That way, orang yang mendakwa anda atau orang yang hendak anda raih simpati akan lebih bersimpati dengan ada. Bersalah atau tak bersalah, belakang kira.

8. Suicidal.

Telan racun tikus. Cut yourself. Whatever. But be sure the damage is not enough to kill yourself. Because if you're dead, it defeats the purpose of gaining sympathy. Nak lagi sambutan, post kat facebook. Gunakan catchphrase yang best-best. Mcm 'malam ini, kul 8.30. selamat tinggal dunia' pasti akan mendapat banyak komen (dan banyak like jika ramai orang yang tak suka anda).

Disclaimer: This post is nonsense. You'd be stupid if you follow any of these.

Udang Lipan

Just came back from Pulau Aman. Didn't enjoy the trip much, since someone tu asyik seasick, and another someone tu pulak is paranoid wanting to get home early, scared that tsunami will hit the island. But look at what we got from Pulau Aman:

Fire up the barbecue boys. We have license to kill grill :-)

Good Friday

If you're going through a bad break up, or if your relationship with someone did not develop into something that you hope for, how long is your 'mourning period'? And by mourning period I mean the period where you're still sad, you cant seem to get over him/her, let alone to move on with your life to find somebody new. Some people say it's half the length of the relationship. e.g: If the relationship took 1 year, mourning period should be 6 months. Some say it's the same as the period of relationship. e.g: If relationship took 1 year, mourning period should be 1 year too. And there are also people who claimed that mourning period should be longer than that.

But according to standard norm, the longer it is the better. Because the sooner you move on with your life, other people would perceive you as the bad guy/girl. And the longer it takes for you to mourn, people would think that you're such a keeper. That you were the better significant half compared to your ex. They would go "Ohhh, honeyy.." and loads of other sympathy gesture because apparently you were sincere, committed and loyal. I dont blame the society. It's the norm and that's how majorities think. I myself experienced the same thing last year. This (ex) significant half of mine were disappointed that I moved on too fast and questioned my sincerity.

Well for starters, I don't believe in this mourning period thingy. Here's why. Just bear with me while I explain. First let us start with the love cycle. Like everything else, love has it's own cycle too. Nine stages to be exact. You can google it or read about it. But basically in order to simplify, it goes like this.

Stage 1: Boy fall in love.

Stage 2: Boy/Girl or both fall out of love.

Stage 3: Boy broke up.

Stage 4: Boy is sad.

Stage 5: Boy sort out his life. Concentrate maybe on work or studies.

Stage 6: Boy gets bored and lonely.

Stage 7: Back to stage 1.

So that pretty much sums it up. There's no beginning. And no ending. Just things you repeatedly do over and over again. Okay now the cycle is done. Another topic pulak: Baggage. This you can google up yourself too. But basically in definition it means painful memories, mistrust, and hurt carried around from the past sexual or emotional meltdown. A plain example of a baggage: You do not want to be involve with someone from the health and medical industry because your ex was in that line before.

Okay now that we're cleared up with both topics, now the reasoning. Im done with the cycle. There's no point crying over spilled milk. You tried one thing and it didn't worked out, so you move on. Find things that work for you. But how are you going to achieve that if you sit around wallowing over something that had happened? Dont cry because it's over, instead smile because it happened. And yeah, Im also done with this emotional baggage thingy. I carried baggage for almost two years and finally I realized how much it burdened me. How it ruined me. How unnecessary it was. Hey, everything was going down the drain, might as well threw these baggage together with it. So when things didn't worked out, I simply started a clean slate.

Start anew. That way you'd be happier. You'd get to know people easier because that doubts, judgement and stereotype of yours is gone. And the sooner you do that, you'd knew that you're one step closer in finding the right one. Yeah it hurts at first. Recognized that you're in pain. Feel the pain. But it should'nt take long. Because sooner or later you'll be back at stage 1. Okay, Im not saying that you should whore yourself up. Seeing people right away. Give your phone number to strangers etc. Not to that extend. Just have the mentaliy "kalau ada buat lagu ada, kalau takdak buat la lagu takdak. Ok cun.

Perisai Raja-Raja

Taken from today's utusan. Congrats on becoming the man of the match. And good luck for today's semi. Go Selangor-UKM! Go Adam koko'ot since you went rogue playing for another state, traitor. haha. All the best. And you better get rid of your pre-game jitters quickly so you can pwn them Kedahan.

Saya budak baik

I don't like to deprecate people, but i'll give you one when it's due. And when that happens, it'll get ugly. Because I will shove your ego right into your candy asses.. So right now I have a bone to pick with you. Please ffs, don't act like you know everything. Just because you read some books, or some articles in the net you think that you know it all. Clearly you dont read enough. Or experience enough. You see, I can tolerate Mr. Know-It-All attitude, but I cant tolerate your I'm-always-right attitude.

Ffs, Bayern Munich had already won the Champions League four times. More than your bloody Barcelona whom to date, only had won three times. Dont get me wrong, I love the current Barca team but have some respect to other teams as well. Bayern in their good ol days can surely make the current Barca team eat dust. For being such an arrogant kiasu and dissing other people's team, you clearly need a history lesson. And yeah Maxwell is a Brazilian, how the eff you said that he's Argentinian? Kata minat Barca. Stupid Poser.

And I hate it when you're trying to prove a point in an argument. Nasi ayam misai tak sedap sebab nasi ayam dia tak sedap. Arsenal bodoh sebab Arsenal bodoh. Lead guitarist is always better than the rhythm guitarist. Wtf, do u know that playing lead does not necessary mean that he's a better guitarist? Sometime the dividing duties of who's playing lead or rhythm is not necessarily for reasons of musical talent, but because the rhythm guitarist is the principle songwriter. As in the case of Tom Petty and Metallica. We are all grown up, if you cant provide facts or reasoning you're only making yourself look stupid. Stupid.

We can talk about almost everything, we're up for any discussion and debate. You can correct me if Im wrong and I can correct you if you're wrong. But oh i forgot. You're always right. But it's funny the other day when you tried to pronounce the word 'beetle' but instead u pronounce the word 'battle'. Apa battle2? Nak lawan digimon ka? Pfftt. And ouh get your fact straight. Kaspersky is pronounced 'kaspers-ki' not 'kasper-sky'. Ni la masalah orang yang banyak sangat baca buku. Dia ingat langit sky in english. You should watch some tv brother.

Ambik ang Jackie Chan ought to teach you some lesson. Eugene Kaspersky is a russian's name. Not an english name. Pfftt. Okay sekarang ni macam aku pulak Mr-Know-It-All. But, I listened to others and I realized that sometimes I could be wrong. That's what makes us different. It's not about who's right or wrong. Or who's clever and who's not. Its about humility, humbleness and friendship. Yea sure losing a few friends on facebook is okay to you, but try losing friends in rl. It just a a matter of time before you'd be watching football at home....alone. Ok cun.

P.s: speaking of russia, I realized this blog has quite a steady visitor from russia. Welcome, silent reader!...or spam bot!...or some phedo stalking for cute boi like me..

Never Say Never

Urgh I dunno why but it seems like this week has been quite a nostalgic week for me. I think I know why. That visit from an old friend really got to me. So i took the liberty to walk down the memory lane, trying to remember a few things from the past. And then I stumbled upon this song:

Verse 1
Some things we don't talk about
better do without
just hold a smile
we're falling in and out of love
the same damn problem
together all the while

Chorus: you can never say never
why we don't know when
time and time again
younger now then we were before
don't let me go (6x)

Verse 2
picture, you're the queen of everything
as far as the eye can see
under your command
i will be your guardian
when all is crumbling
steady your hand
Repeat Chorus.

Bridge
we're falling apart
and coming together again and again
we're coming apart
but we pull it together
pull it together, together again

This song was distributed on July 2008 as The Fray's second single and I listened to it right away. And if you have followed this blog for quite some time, you'd know what happened in July 2008 kan? I was experiencing my first major break up and technically this song was my official break up song. I dont know, but this song has been so deep and sad, i cant afford to hear it much.

Verse 1

It pretty sums up everything that you knew about. Holding on when things get tough and never letting go no matter what happen. There are some things that you avoid acknowledging, no matter how it was there; because life would be easier without those. No matter how it's there, you just ignored it and 'just hold the smile'. There are days when you fought, and days when you don't. Love, hate, sad, happy all at the same time.

Some days you're happy, and others..not so much, but you keep coming back because you conceded that this was how it was supposed to be. You cant help feeling like that. You keep insisting to her that you can "never say never" when you don't know what might happen in the future, and that things seem confusing, and you feel less mature than you were before. And those quiet times when you spend alone, this is what you'll be singing to her. Don't let me go... And suddenly, she's gone.

Verse 2

You're telling her now that she can be happy, and do what she wants. She can be the "Queen of everything", but you'll always be there for her, just like you're her best friend. And when she's having a rough day, you're by her side, no matter what, no matter how badly she hurts you. And you're begging her, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go-o-o.

Bridge

You don't know what's happening. You're getting closer every day, and then, it seems to rip apart. You get close again, and you're pulled apart again. It seems that life just can't make up it's mind on what to do with you. For now, you've given up, and you're just begging, "Please, baby, don't let me go..."

Putra Azmil

Actually, this is just a simple announcement. But since I'm in a buoyant mood to blog, I'd like to announce it in a story mode. But let's backed up a little. Remember this? The post writing about a friend who went rogue, the one that pulled the 'trigger'? Okay now we may begin. One day on January 12th, Ijoi added me on fb. But faruk quickly pointed out to me that he's hardly on, that I need to add his wifey to get updates from that son of a gun.

Faruk was right. Ijoy rarely updates, because he's too busy playing his games. Such an addict, if you see his wall you can only see game request rather than comments or status updates. To the extend:

Tedia. Sampai bini marah. haha. I rofl when I read this. Tapi Ijoy memang suka main game-game camni. Dulu time kat hostel and kat Putat, he'd spent hours main game bodo-bodo kat Metacafe. Paling aku ingat sekali game 'Raja Dadah', where you need to make profit selling drugs based on economics demand and supply. Anyway, what Im trying to say is I hardly heard from the brat. Until la last week when:

I didnt give it much thought when faruk mentioned the 'anak' thingy since as far as I could remember, Ijoy told me that he's planning. And during his visit in Penang pun, he didnt say much about Ijoi. Until la today when I read the wifey's status:

You stud, you becoming a father! Dah rezeki. Plan2 pun dapat. This may comes a bit late, but congratulations ijoy.Hopefully delivery goes well. Pasni takleh main game lama2 dah. haha. And sorry for being such an ignorant. Ang bukannya nak update fb, kheja main game ja. hahaha. clearly I need to add the wifey.

P.s:- wife added

P.s.s:- any thoughts on the name? How about Putra Azmil zukilefeli? (bukan zulkifli ya)