Happy New Year

Just came back from futsal. Hell yeah we played futsal at 3 in the morning, in the new year. Every body seems to be so upbeat by coming early, given that our national team won the AFF Championship. Earlier before futsal, I worked at Baskin helping out with their 31st promotion sales since they are a little shorthanded. The girlfriend invited me since she knows some people there. Thanks bushuk ;-). Damn it feels good. I got to refresh the feelings I had when I worked for BR right after my SPM. Ah..the good ol days.

Its 2011 now. Damn times went by so fast. :'( Resolution, resolution, resolution. I have a few in mind, but lets just keep it to myself. And Im probably gonna have some good news in a couple of days, but also, let just keep it to myself for this time being. Im praying for great things to come this new year. A few transitions, a few changes are in order, which I hope for the better :-). While I remain jobless and hopeless, bushuk is going to kick start her career this Monday. She landed herself a job at Deloitte working in theTax Dept. Wishing her all the luck in the world.

It had been quite a spectacular year for me. I wished I covered them all in my blogs, but sadly with my laziness etc, my wished wont be granted. So many things happened, but at least, today I can held my head up high with the way I finished. Granted, I had a colourful and great start, but it wont mean anything if I were to finish badly. I am satisfied with the way I ended this year. After all how you finish is all that matters. How you start isnt. For example, nobody will remember that Indonesia beat Malaysia in the opening match of AFF Suzuki Cup, but everybody will remember that Malaysia beat Indonesia in the final. Wah pandai betul merepek beranalogi. Bye

Laser? Apa laser-laser? Apa Laser? Apa? Apa bukti?

Hell Yeah The CUp is OURS!

pic source: lowyat.net

you dont miss your water till the well runs dry

As I sail with you across the finest oceans

On our way to find the key to our emotions
Together we will move the clouds to brighter days
Some people question what I say
Tried to break up you and me
But I know this love between us is growing stronger
You can call me whenever from wherever
Just remember that
I'll be there
Through all the stormy weather
Us break up never
No we'll be together
Forever

[Chorus:]
You don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry
But I believe so strongly in you and I
Can somebody answer me the question why
You don't miss your water til the well runs dry

As I close my eyes
Sit back while reminiscing
Of when we used to fuss and fight but end up kissing
There may be sad and painful times along the way
But in my heart you'll always be everything and more to me
For I know this love between us is growing stronger
You can call me whenever from wherever
Just remember that
I'll be there
Through all the stormy weather
Us break up never
No we'll be together
Forever

[Chorus]

For you are always on my mind
You are always on my mind
Girl you know that you
You are always
You are always on my mind
You are always forever

[Chorus]

You don't miss your water girl no
But I believe so strongly in you and I yeah
Can somebody answer me the question why
Cause you don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry yeah listen
If you ever get the feeling
You wanna play around starting cheating, remember
You don't miss your water 'til the well runs dry

p.s: esok takda ayaq. water runs dry tehee

Aku mandom dan manja.

Okay...when i was on sabbatical, I didnt just sit back at home, lazing around and watch spongebob. I also did some serious rl stuff too. I hung out with Adam who's on holiday, spent some quality time with the girlfriend, and I got myself a job too. But it wasnt for long. I called it quit after three days. Tehee. Yahaya and Hafiz recommended me the job. They had already started working for a week when I started. The idea of terrific trio reunion got to me and I got really excited, so I applied for it. Kat mana? Erm Lets just say it's a hypermarket in Jelutong.

I was in the SRR Department which stands for Stock Replenishment Review. Well basically my job (routine) was to make stock adjustment, do Reduce to Clear pricing, do out-of-shelf-review, destroy products, and make an order to vendors if the stocks run out. Did you notice if you go to a store, there's someone who's walking around carrying a device that looks like a gun? Yep, that's an SRR staff. I used a lot of that scanner to do my work. In SRR we have all those routine that I've mentioned before to be done during the day.

I've worked in the Fresh Division. Under Fresh Division, there are a few department under it such as Seafood, Meat, Bakery and Delica, Produce (fruits and vegetables) and Daily n Dairy (icecream, frozen food, yogurt). Unlike me, Hafiz and Yahaya are working together in the Grocery Division. Out of all the routine, RTC (reduce to clear) is the most hardest job. Basically, we are responsible to reduce the price of a product if a product is near to its expiry date. If you go to my store and saw a product with a yellow label, that means the products are sold at a very cheap price.

The decreased in price were totally set by the SRR department. Ikut suka mak bapak kami nak bagi kurang berapa peratus. Tehee. But the decrease kena la berpada-pada. Kalau barang elok lagi, setakat 25% cukup la. Tapi kalau barang dah ala-ala tak nampak lagu barang, kadang sampai 85% pun boleh. :-) Here comes the hard part. Since fresh division produk dia jangka hayat tak lama, kami kena banyak buat rtc. Sayur-sayur, ikan-ikan, memang kena buatla rtc kerap-kerap sebab jangka hayat product dia tak lama. Tambah-tambah department produce. Memang famous macam artis jugakla sebab orang dok kerumun kami nak tgk barang apa kami RTC. haizz..

Another routine yang mencabar is to destroy product. Biasala bila barang tak terjual and dah rosak, kami kena la buat destroy review. We have to go the loading deck, and present all of the stuff that we are going throw away in front of the duty manager. Bau barang2 ni memang terbaik. Hanyir, busuk, masam taktau nak kata. Hehe. It was fun though. But these are not the reasons why I quit. All in all I really love my job. The pay was quite good too. Like really good. But at this point in my life, Im not very much money oriented. The reason they gave us a good pay is because we need to finish all routine everyday.

Selagi tak abes routine, selagi tu lah tak boleh balik. Kadang2 dapat balik paling awal pun pukul 6. But most of the time pukul 7 lah. Masuk plak pukul 7 am. I cant afford that. It's too time consuming. Balik2 takdan nak buat apa dah kena get ready untuk esok. Dengan tuition apa suma, tau2 ja dah kena tido. My priority right now is time. Time for myself. Time for my family. Time for people whom I love. Call me mandom, call me manja but I wouldnt trade my time for an extra bucks just yet. Maybe later, when I finished my degree. But for now, I dont mind earning less so long I get to go home, feeling safe with the family.

Truly Honoured

Hey people. I was on a long sabbatical for quite some time. I didnt have the mood to update much. I only logged on every once in a while, tu pun sebab nak saja2 nak go through what I have written before. Couples of days ago, when I checked my fb inbox, I got a msg from a lecturer asking me this:

I was quite puzzled at first, but I tried answering the best I could. :-) she replied asking me to email her a pic of mine so that she can put it in one of her slide.

I am so honoured to be given the opportunity to inspire others. I dont think that I deserve any of that. I have my flaws and weakness too. But it feels good if I can help people out any way or another. Im truly honoured. Thank you so much. I remembered last time how I was asked by a lecturer to go in front of his semester 3 class and tell them a few tips on studying etc. :-)

Anyway, I still havent got my final results yet. I'm a bit nervous. I dont want to get my hopes up, tapi tipula kalau aku cakap aku tak kisah sngt. Haha. I wanted to be a part of the college history. I wanted to become a legend. Yahaya pernah cakap " Either way no matter what the result, you're still a legend. Kalau ang mantain sem ni, memang konform2 la ang legend. Kalau ang flop sem ni pun, ang still legend. Tapi legend untuk sem ni ja la. Sebab first time after three years ang tak mantain" Haha well said Yahaya.

Legend untuk sem ni? or an all time legend? Lets find out in a few weeks. :-)

Winger

I always find winger as one of the most fascinating position in football. To be able to play as a winger is a gift. You must time your run, you must anticipate better than others, and you must be at the right place, at the right time. Which are things that are cant be learnt. Thats why I said it's a gift. And yes, you must also have a lethal foot/feet to dribble past opponents, shooting for glory, and make a pinpoint crosses for others. This position has developed more into a more complex function over time. An orthodox winger only attacks. He sits deep by the touch line waiting to be fed and work on his magic.

But now in modern football things are different. Wingers have to track back and help the team defend. He cant just hang out by the touchline like last time. He must provide dimensions and dynamics to the team in order to create a fluidity in attack and also in defends. From my observation there are two types of wingers. One being the conventional winger who is very direct but effective like Giggs, Figo and Bale and another being that trickster winger who has tons of tricks up in his sleeve and uses it efficiently like Ronaldo and Messi. One emphasizes on effectiveness and another one emphasizes on efficiency.

Yes being a football fan, we usually are more thrilled watching the trickster winger do their magics. However those conventional wingers should not be belittled. I always enjoy watching those conventional wingers making direct runs at the opposition, using their speeds cutting in and out of defences. Another thing I like about being a winger is how much the fans put so much hope and faith in him. When the ball is passed to a winger by the third quarter of the field, the fans will rise from their seats, excited and all restless at the same time. Is he going to bottle it? Is he going to screw up? Are we going to score?

End product from a winger is crucial. A winger performance is not evaluated with how many people he can beat by dribbling or how many tricks that he can do. He is evaluated by his end products. What is meant by 'end product' is the quality of his final touch, whether its a cross, a pass or a shoot. Botoi pi la sepuluh orang pun kalau final touch lingkup tak guna jugak. For example, Nani is a great winger but usually his end products are frustrating. All the hard work splitting the opposition defence should not go wasted. A winger have to make sure that his work counts or at least mean something. Ok enough of being a football pundit. Laters

to stand on her steps with my heart in my hands

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls are continually changed
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now I'm left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the guide and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too [x3]

25

ok kena tagged dengan syuness, asking 25 things about yourself. From the top of my head, these are one of the things that are either too obvious, or too embarrassing to be told.

1. I am plain lazy. If there are shortcuts in everything I do, I'd definitely take it. Macam tutup tv pakai kaki, because I was too lazy too get up and switch it of with my hand. If they arent any shortcuts, I would simplify things up. But not to the extend of breaking the rules and syara' la.

2. Currently depends heavily on cigarettes and red bulls daily. Kalau takda dua benda ni rasa cam tak kena ja. Hopefully I can get rid of them by the end of this year. InsyaAllah. Selalu kena maki/perli/kutuk/tegur/nasihat pasal this two things.

3. I love football and futsal. I love playing, watching, talking, sleeping, drinking. Need I say more?

4. I am a red belt holder in Taekwondo ITF. Sayang ja dulu pi berhenti, sbb pindah rumah dari Bayan Baru to Free School. So tak complete la. Lagi sket ja nak dapat hitam. sobs. But whenever I got into a fight, bukan pakai pun what I learnt. My 'sure win' policy is rugby tackle-disable-punch punch and punch. haha

5. In completing task/assignment/jobs, my priority policy is (paling penting to kurang penting)

I. Buat yang paling senang dulu

II. Buat yang paling important dulu

III. Buat ikut first come first serve.

Well, usually thats how I get things done la. How about you?

6. I've appeared as an extra in one episode of 3R. I cant remember which season, but episode tu Tini and Vic Malaysian Idol 1 berlakon. In the episode Vic bullied and teased Tini for being overweight. Sampai skarang dok cari episode ni kalau2 jumpa balik. Anyone kalau jumpa gitau k

7. I dont have a bestfriend. I dont like ranking my friends whom I like best and whom I like the least. To me everyone is equal. Eventhough the treatment between one another varies, but its just more or less the same. Dengan A mungkin selalu aku spend time, tapi dgn B yang banyak share secrets skali. Yang sini lebih kot sini, yang sana lak lebih kot sana. ish paham ka tak nih grr

8. I'm a movies/series addict. Suma layan. From sitcom, to reality show, to chick flick, to sci fi and to action. I have a one dedicated hard disk just to store them. Currently watching Greek season three and dexter latest season.

9. I only switch off my PC once a week. This is to cater to my movies/series addiction above. Downloading them to my PC. So, I may appear online all the time, but doesnt necessarily mean that Im in front of the computer. Sorry to those yang salu PM tapi tak terbalas. It's either Im away from the PC, or I simply dont like you. Tehee

10. I'd like to think that things that come out from my head is pure gold. So I would observe, analyze and think carefully before I say something. It doesnt have to be academic, or something smart, it could be something stupid as well. Saying stupid funny things could get you into raja lawak.

11. I'd like to think that Im an all rounder as well. I have a very wide variety of interest. Kira serba serbi la. But I would prefer it if I could just be really really good at one thing and sucks at others daripada serba-serbi know/do things but average. Like how I wish that Im a genious at playing the guitar but taktau papa lngsung psal benda lain.

13. I cant stand who dont live up to their words. They said action speaks louder than words. If you cant live up to what you say, it is better to be silent. However, I have a great admiration to people who boast about themselve, but live up to every word yang diorang bangga kan. To me, it's a character of a natural winner.

14. I dont like crowded places. Kalau boleh elak. Memang elak. I hate long ques too.

15. Aku suka tanya soalan yang pelik2 kat kawan aku; suka jamban duduk ke jamban canggung? coffee or tea? power to get money or money to get power? they called it 'soalan berbentuk azmil' courtesy of Mr Faruk Hassan. I dont know, i like asking people odd question, bukan nak tau answer sngt, but nak tau cara diorang fikir. :)

16. I wanted to at least once stepped in some of the famous stadium in Europe. Kalau boleh nak melawat Santiago Bernebeu, Allianz Arena, Old Trafford and San Siro. Hopefullt it comes true. InsyaAllah,

17. Im proud to be a Penangites. Like seriously proud. Im proud of our food, our tradition and our lifestyle. Ok ok I was born in Terengganu, but I was raised in Penang my entire life. Boo Terengganu. Ok, aku kena private blog ni bila aku apply scholarship Yayasan Terengganu nanti.

18. My appearance and my looks deceived people. I get that a lot. When told about my results and achievement, people would go on saying "biar betul azmil tu tak nampak macam pndai pun". Or when they heard anything about me, "biar betul, tak tau lak azmil tu suka pompuan. aku ingat dia suka laki".

19. I have a 'dont know dont care' attitude. I dont really care about what people says to/about me. I just do my own things. I guess thats how I get by. Because the more I concentrate on myself rather than people, the higher chances that I'd do better and the more upset people will get. tehee.

20. My trustworthy California Series Stratocaster guitar is my bestfriend whenever I have the blues in me. With a little bit of tweak, she's a monster. Whenever Im having a hard day, her sounds soothed me and calms me down.

21. I dont think that Im a good listener, but people would come to me and seek advise on relationships, lives, futures etc. Sometimes I felt like Im carrying this heavy responsibility on my back. Aku takut that my advise would backfire or goes wrong. Happened quite a couple of times, but so far takde lagi la org yang hate me for following my advise. I think...

22. I dont lie much, but i likes to manipulate things up to my advantage. It isnt lying, sometimes I just sugar coat my communication and carefully filter information so that it works both way. And of course I do it for the greater good, like how I manipulate things up so that two friends who's fighting can kiss and make up. Puan Idayu penah cakap kat kelas in front of everybody to not trust me as Im a one big fat manipulator.

23. I dont really like text messaging people. To me its a hassle. I would rather talk on the phone rather than texting. I only replied to msgs that I think are important.

25. People like to think that Im clever, but in truth Im not. Im just an average Joe who work hard and lucky. I do it the hard way. Im not the type of guy who can easily absorbs things like a sponge. I need to read a lot of times before I can fully have a grasp on something.

Yay done. I skipped no 24 and 12 just to prove no 1 ;-) lets see who i want to tag. ok nobody. Im lame. nobody reads my blog. laters alligators

When you look back

Tiap-tiap abes semester lepas abes last exam, Hafiz Yahaya and aku akan salu pi lepak dekat menara kat bukit balik pulau tu. We would go buy some titbits, some soft drinks and also a big fat cigar to bring along. There, while lepaking, we would recap and look back at what we have done during the semester. And we ended up thanking each other for always being there for each other. It is kind of important to us to always do this to remember where we come from, how we began and how we get this far.

Usually I can easily summed up and describe one semester; be it a challenging one, a sad one, a happy one, etc. But this semester, Im having difficulty on deciding which one is it. Too many things happened all in all, Im having a mixed feelings. Banyak benda jadi this semester; orientation, mama was hospitalized, Amar was possesed, events involvement, Raya, the separation, the 6 months fight, assignment completion etc. Thats when I realized that all this while I;ve been living my life in static. Tak ada turun naik. Mendatar ja. That's why I can easily summed up a semester before.

But this time it's different. The graph goes up and down through out the semester. Which I guess is a good thing, signifying that I've lived my life to the fullest. I took uncalculated risk, I do new things, I meet more people, and with mixed fortune I was able to experience a lot of things this semester. Yeah, things dont usually go my way or at least the way i wanted, but it was worth it to embark new things and trying to discover my full potential. So here's a toast: to graduation. to our hard work. To new things. To farewell.

I would like to thank everybody who plays an important part during my life in college. Friends, foes, lecturers and not to forget the supporting staff. Without their help, Im nothing. To bid farewell to these people really makes my heart ache. I will miss ICT, I will miss arguing and throwing a banter at my friends, I will miss doing last minute assignment, I will miss that occasionally coffee chat with Sir Zabidi, I will miss everything. If I were to go back in time, there's nothing that I would do differently. Which mean erm, I've lived my college life to the fullest after all. :) Anyway, Im going off to college now. Mr Wan conducted some short courses for us and shortly after that, we would have a farewell party. Laters

Affify Shuhada Abdul Razak

This is a dedication post. And this post is about a dear friend of mine, Affify Shuhada@Fify@ Ify. Affify and I made a pact that we must write about each other on our blogs. We can write about anything; special occasions, good or bad memories, puji, kutuk etc. hehe. You know how much I would jump for an opportunity to say bad things kat orang kan? haha just kidding. Before I start, Fify, if my post is not up to your standards, Im very sorry. Im not very much as a creative fella as you, but my words and thoughts are honest and true. Thats what counts kan? :)

Aku kenal Fify masa sem 2. Like Yahaya, she came to ICT Penang after studying her first semester in ICT Klang. So all in all, I have known Fify for almost 2 and a half years now. To be honest, I dont really like Fify at first. Sebab my first impression at her is dia ni pulun sangat. And I cant stand orang yang pulun terlebih. Fify would sit up front in the class with angah, asking a lot of questions dekat lecturers. A looottt I would say. Sometimes benda yang kita tak perlu tanya pun dia nak tanya gak kat lecturer tu. Attention seeker punya fify :P. haha. Oddly, I also have a feeling that she didnt like me either.

But little by little, we managed to get along. I forgot how we become close. I think it came naturally. Little by little. Aku salu usik and hentam dia because of her 'pulun'ness. But Fify is not the type of person who sits quietly and accept all the banters thrown at her. She fights back. Bila aku kata kat dia, nanti dia kata balik kat aku. Thats how day by day, we became closer and closer. I remembered during PR class aku usik dia bila dia tanya soalan 'remeh' kt Puan Idayu. Haha dia tarik muka, and trus fire aku pasal perangai aku and bukak cita psal skandal aku kat Puan Idayu. Koasam tui.

And then during the third sem, we (december intakes) have a problem dengan subject registration. They only gave us 4 subjects, since the March intake students hasnt take as much subjects as us. This would give us a disadvantage becos we hafta to take 6 subjects during sem 4 and 5. So the 8 of us pergi appeal kat admin tuk register another two subjects. The two subjects that we added was Agama (join dengan dak sem 4) and Public Relation (join dengan dak sem 5). Kira kami banyak menumpang kelas orang la. Since we dont know everybody else, we sticked to each other a lot. All the nine of us; consisting of me, Hafiz, Yahaya, Fify, Angah, Sabrina, Suzy, Salwa and Dayah always take care of each other.

Sebab tu la Ify boleh rapat dgn kami. Kalau bukan sebab add subject tu, jgn harapla dia nak rapat dengan kami. Haha. Ify ni sangat2 hardworking. Rajin terlebih. Salu mintak extra tutorial/excercise. Salu bila dia mintak latihan extra kat lecturer we the guys akan usaha sedaya upaya to change the topics. Kadang2 kami divert the lecturer's attention to ignore ify, kadang2 kami divert ify's attention so she would forget to ask the lecturer for extra excercises. Ify is also well known with her "sapa tanya?" jokes. Kita punya penat cita kat dia, dia nnt boleh buat lawak juah camni.

Ali: Ify tau dak, budak yang pakai baju merah blablablablablaalbalbla.........blalblablabla...

Ify: Sapa?

Ali: Ala budak yang baju me..

Ify: Sapa tanya? (potong cakap and buat muka selamba)

Juah gila. Memang nanti selalu kena. Haha. One thing about Fify, she was always there for me whenever Im in need. She helped in my studies, she even helped me organize myself. Selalu remind pasal meeting. Salu bagi pinjam notes and tolong photostat. I can never repay what she had done to me. We also did our MPP election campaign together, where we hung our posters together side by side. Alhamdulillah we won the election; dia dapat first and aku dapat second place, daripada 10 candidates camtu. And paling takleh lupa malam dinner. Aku tak sep tempat kat dia sedangkan kami budak2 satu kelas dah janji nak duduk setable.

Actually bukan aku lupa, but aku silap budget. Tau-tau ja table kami dah penuh. Kesian dia lepas penat jaga registration counter kat depan, only to find out kami tak sep tempat kat dia. haih. Sorry ify, I hope you can forgive me. I mentioned in my earlier post that I never consider anyone a rival in studies as I only like to concentrate on myself. But if there was a worthy rival, Fify is one of them. Salu fight dengan dia in studies. I usually beat her in exam, but usually she beats me in presentation and assignments. Haih. Besala laki, kerja nak mudah, and nak last minute. Mana nak dapat markah elok. Last sem she nearly equalled my result, tapi sayang satu subject dapat A-. Nevermind fy, mana tau sem ni Ify dapat beat Azmil. :)

Lagi satu, ify tak pernah berkira kederat. Time MPP dulu Ify salu tolong kalau ada apa-apa event. Walaupun even tu bukan dia punya, she always give her best contributing. Paling takleh lupa time event futsal tournament yang aku handle dengan afiq. Dia jadi ballpicker kot. tengah2 panas pi kutip bola, lari kehulu kehilir, dari pagi sampai petang. Memang sangat2 thankful kat dia. Pastu aku janji dgn dia nak tolong time event dia, Ratu Busana Muslimah. But unfortunately, aku takleh tolong dia prepare (dewan, hadiah, logistik etc) sebab time tu aku busy gila. Marah jugakla dia kat aku. Tapi aku malam RBM tu, memang aku tolong kaw2 and in the end, dia pun tak marah dah. Siap bagi lagi extra medal RBM kat aku. *terharu*

Lagi satu ify ni kira cam budak baikk la konon. diulangi perkataan konon tu. hehe. Fify ni cam naive sket. And kamilah yang dok mengajaq dia benda2 tak elok. hehehe. Ajak dia pi main bowling, ajak dia lepak mcd, ajak dia pi picnic. mcm2 lagi. Actually bukan benda jahat pun, but maybe ify tak biasa. Everytime after we did something that is totally new to her, she will always thank us sebab bawak/ajak/ajar dia. According to Ify, her dad is very strict. So kami salu ugut dia nak pi umah dia gitau bapak dia yang dia dok join kami buat 'benda jahat' tu. Anyway Ify, I wish you all the best in your future undertakings. I really hope that we can meet again one day, catching up and reminisce all the good time we had together

Thank you for everything and i meant that from the bottom of my heart. If I managed to maintain my results, I will definitely dedicate my achievement to you. Because you played an important role in my life sepanjang kita kenal. Tanpa ify dan kawan2 yang lain, Im nothing. :) And be strong out there, girl. I cant always watch over you like before. Life is gonna hit u real hard, much harder than college life. So the next time when you call me, I dont want to hear you crying like last time, ok? When you call you better be cheerful and full with laughter. All the best for your future undertakings, and do tell me if any guy is messing with you.Im gonna kick their asses for messing with my lil sister. Thats all. Bye~!

The Rejects

Like the entertainment industry, football is a cruel world. Footballers work their socks off in order to be on top of their game. Because if they dont, they're out. Simple as that. There are always someone younger and stronger, breathing down your neck trying to take your place in the team. A single game could determine your destiny in football, whether you belong to the first eleven, the bench or the bleachers. Like an entertainer, being a footballer requires perserverance and a mountain of motivations because if you're down, you need to pick yourself up right away.

I myself experienced the same kind of thing. A few years back, in uni, I was just an average bench warmer for an average team. I've been fighting for a place in the team, but my effort was to no avail. Until one day, I managed to play in the first eleven, tu pun sebab my teammate got injured. Nak jadi rezeki, after that match I was offered a place to play for the strongest team in the uni. I've won a lot of honours with the team, at the same time playing an important part in our triumph. Thats when I realized that whatever happens, happened for a reason. Ada hikmah untuk setiap kejadian.

Footballers must also be prepared to get rejections from coach and fans. All you can do at that time is do your best, work harder and pray that things go your way. Malaysia menang dengan Kyrgyzstan 2-1 sat-sat tadi. Chanturu scored one of the goals for Malaysia. Chanturu was a Penang President Cup Players, rejected by Penang but eventually play for Kelantan senior team. And yes, he recently lifted the Malaysia Cup beating non others, Negri Sembilan. Kadang-kadang rezeki kita bukan kat sini, tapi kat tempat lain. Coach kat sini taknak kat kita, tapi coach kat sana mungkin nak.

The same goes to life. Orang kat sini takmau kat kita, tapi orang kat sana mungkin mau. ;-) Rezeki Allah yang tentukan.I dont get it, why Penang tak hold on to great players like Chanturu. Lani bila dah turun pi Liga Perdana, nak nyesal pun tak guna. Like Chanturu, I will prove to those who looked passed me, that they'll never find nobody else like me. And at least ponder "what could have been if azmil is around?" hahaha kalau depa tak regret pun, just a passing thoughts pun jadi laa (>.<)

Wishful thinking, mindless dreaming

I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been gone, busier then ever.
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why.

Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized that I loved you in the fall.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

All the time

Camera Phone

It's been quite some time since I plug my phone to the computer. While Im at it, managed to upload a few pics out. Images from 3, 4 months back. Some I captured myself, some are bluetoothed to me. Here you go.

Final of the final

Saat yang dinanti-nanti tiba. Bukan, bukan sbb dpt tgk Nora Danish berkemban dan bukan jugak dapat join trick or treat halloween tapi sebab the final exam of the final semester is around the corner. Starting this Monday with strategic management, pastu on the 9th ada hr management, and the triple header; English, Keusahawanan and Operation Management consecutively from 12-14 November. Rasa macam-macam. Takut ada, excited ada ,happy ada, sedih pun ada.

No matter how sentimental i get, it's business as usual. I wont take this examination lightly. Treading over this thing carefully making sure that I am fully equipped and healthy to take on the last hurdles in Island College of Technology. Macam biasa, kena fokus kat subjek strategic management and subjek Cik Azrul which is keusahawanan. Have to make sure that I double up my effort on these subjects. Ada takhta untuk dipertahankan. Ada maruah untuk dijaga. Hehe

I got a few job offers, mostly from banks and kilang. I am also offered a few internship position but I still cant make up my mind. I really hope that I can decide as soon as possible. Before all these people naik meluat dengan aku. They are banging on my doors, not with just one hand but with both hands. Tiap kali call, mesti ckp mintak tangguh. Sebab aku teringin gak nak resume tuition class and instrument class aku. Tapi at the same time, tringin gak nak keja dengan orang.

Ah letak tepi dulu. Concentrate on being able to graduate first, Azmil. And only after that you can decide carefully what you;re going to do next. It's hard not to give a damn when you really adore someone. You still stalk them, you still wants to know whats going on with their life, and you still want to support them no matter how far you're apart. Sokong dari jauh, concern dari jauh. I really hope that I can stop. Because giving without even taking is not what real men and businessmen do. Now lets go do some studying.

Okay, but not okay enough

I've been caught up with rl stuff, so i havent have the time blog and stuff. The past two weeks has been real challenging- with presentations, assignment submissions, quizzes, syllabus completion, emotional turmoil but Alhamdulillah I braved through it all. Some things are a lil screwed up, but Im just gonna have to deal with it alone. Im not concentrating on being the best anymore, instead i just want to do enough. With exam is just around the corner, the pressure is mounting.

Tahniah dekat kawan-kawan komunikasi yang dapat menjalankan FYP depa dengan berjaya. Event semua best-best weh. Two thumbs up. Tak kiralah autoshow or futsal tourney. Both are worth to attend to. :) Sorry tak dapat tolong ampa banyak2 dok jiwa kacau lagi time tuh. Hehe. tapi ok la, as usual jadi trophy delivery man tuk autoshow and jadi rules regulator untuk futsal tourney. :) as usual, team futsal kami dapat pi sampai quarter ja. Kalah penalti :'( Sorry guys, Im not worthy your captain.

We should at least improve but kita kat kat takuk tu jugak. That's why i was wondering to hand over the captaincy to someone else but you guys insist on me being the captain. Thanks for the support. I really hope that we can still play together in the future, wherever you are. Time kalah tu, memang sedih gila. Bukan sebab kalah, tapi sebab this might be the last tournament we play together. As friends, comrades and teammates. Ari la orang paling sedih, cause he didnt convert that last penalty. Thats okat Ari, that guy can be anybody. I screwed up at penalties sometimes too.

And during the last few weeks, the bond between the classmates are getting stronger than ever. Yang tak pernah bercakap, cakap. Yang dok gaduh, baik. We did quite a lot of activities together. We went bowling, visited Kek Lok Si, picnicking at Teluk Assam, minum juice kat tropical farm and many more. Im going to miss you guys, seriously. Each and everyone of you. Dah jadi macam adik beradik. I love them all. Girlfriend/Boyfriend comes and go, but friends are forever. :) And because of these friends, Im getting better day by day.

People deal with knockbacks in life, whatever they may be, in different ways. You build a protective mechanism so it wont hurt you. If someone punches you in the nose, it hurts, so the next time it happens, you'll put your hands up or you expect it's coming, so you soften the blow. It's like that with love. It hurt to start with, it hurt a little bit less the second time and now it doesnt hurt as much. But that doesnt mean I've given up.

BOC? more like a SOB

So...so far so good. I've been better, but at least its an improvement. Trying my best to occupy every single minute of my time so that I dont spend my time thinking about all the "what if". Spent lots of time with my trusted california strat guitar, and also with a bunch of nics. I've left nic for a couple of months but nic doesnt seem to have the problem to take me back. :) And after so long tak main bola padang, i decided to accept the offer from this football club from bayan baru to play for em. Gotta get those boots out from the box and give them a polish or two. All just to get my thoughts away from it.

Had a meeting with Cik Halim, Mdm Haslina, Mr Zaki and Cik Faizal today. Along with other topscorers from sem 5 and 6; Zulfatin, Shafina, Nazrin and Fauzee to name a few They were planning to create this Blue Ocean Club thingy, an exclusive club for these creme de la creme. Among all the perks is that we get to have a fine dinner with the dean and the president to give us some sort of recognition, and to assist us in anyway in order for us to maintain our result. Another perks is facilitating us through the procedures and processes if we were interested to study abroad. They were also planning to construct a network of industrial partners so that we can get a job/scholarships.

*sigh tinggal lagi brapa minggu ja lagi nak abes blajar, baru la terfikir nak buat mcm ni. After almost 6 semester, this is actually the first time that I feel appreciated for all the work that I have done. I dont need a pat in the back, I dont need a cheer. All I need is just a recognition and I cant thank them enough eventhough its kinda late. I'd also managed to express my worries and whatnot but Sir Faizal and Madam was very supportive and inspiring. I came back home a stronger man. Thank you so much sir, madam. The sky is the limit. I will work hard and prove to them that Im not just a big fish in a small pond, but also a big fish in a big pond. :)

Just a few more weeks to go. I'm brimming with confidence to finish the remaining of my studies. Woot woot! Oh, I finally had my tastebuds on that Whopper Jr I've been craving. Ingat Jumaat lepas lagi nak singgah Burger King, tapi orang dok jakun lagi. The que was so long during the weekend, org bratoq smpai kat luaq. haha. So we went today. Semangat depa dari Balik Pulau pi sg pinang smata-mata nak makan whopper. Haha. And oh, I just found out House's medical school, John Hopkins is opening up a branch in Malaysia. Their high tech medical school/hospital will offer a 4 years MD courses to students. We might have our own Malaysian House in the making lol. wth, dok melalut apa taktau. urgh. bye

Slowly.

If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm, then brace it
If it's a broken heart, then face it

And hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
Hold your own, know your name
And go your own way.
And everything, will be fine.

Miserable

I once lead a very miserable life. In fact one of my hero to date is Dr Gregory House who lives his life in misery and despair, popping vicodin, being unable to sustain a relationship (that he ditched the love of his life, Lisa), and the master of treating people like shit. One of the trade off of being miserable is, you get to become so good in what you do. Just like House. Fuck yeah I was miserable, I have to admit that. Which is why I think Im good at what I did. Physical pain and emotional pain that I had endured are what that spured me on.

And shortly after that, I decided not to become miserable. I started to think that I should give life another chance. Give happiness a chance. Give love another chance. Give hope another chance. I always thought that hopes are for sissies, but I then I kneel down, praying and hoping. That's how broken I am back then. I have also opened up to my most vulnerable state, something that I have never do, even to my bestfriends. And yet once again this shit still let me down. I admit that I can see this coming when I sign up for this.

There's two possible outcome, either be happy or get hurt. The happiness that I felt was a short stint, but by all means, the pain is fucking killing mean. But then again, lets look at the bright sight. If i end up a happy man, great. If i end up getting hurt, still, great. This pain will make me go back living that miserable life, hence its all House and chauvinism all over again. :) Now lets go get that cigarettes vicodin. Women are such a bitch.

High Low

Okay a quick update. Been so busy with assignment and all. All due dates are lining up between sometime this week and the next week. Ada empat semua. Half of them are completed. Another two, erm we do not even start yet! We are a bit behind schedule I might say. We really do take our own sweet time completing this semester's assignment. By our own sweet time it doesnt mean that we do it half heartedly. Pulun tu pulun la jugak. Tehee. Its just that we want to savour every moment of it as this is our last time doing assignment in ICT. Hopefully. Insyaallah. As i said before this is a quickie so lets go with the high/low of the day.

Okay, lets begin with the high. Today when I went to school I was informed that I am on the list on some kind of an apprenticeship program offered by Spansion. Spansion is a flash memory manufacturer based in the Golden State, California and they are operating its operation worldwide. Mr Faizal are the one who recommended me to learn the trades there and at the same time earn money as there are allowance given. It is so so kind of him to have faith in me sedangkan he doesnt really know me and vice versa. Sepanjang he's here, tak berkesempatan nak belajar dengan dia. The program would take around 2, 3 months tops. I havent decided on joining yet, as I am still trying to keep my options open. But I have to decide in this couple of weeks. :)

Okay, now the low. Hint: Mr Azrul. Haha i failed to get an A for his entrepreneurship mid term paper. Argh. Such a mood spoiler :( urgh. I got A on all other subjects except for his. Yeah its only 20% but I felt that I could have done better. :'( haip tak bersyukur pulak Azmil dah berderet dah a takkan nak kiasu kot? But seriously, I really want to see my answer script so badly as there are things that I answered there base from the content of a text book, which I suspected that Mr Azrul tak accept. And even if he's right pun, at least aku pun puas ati. tehee. Tension tui. Nak ngadu kat org tu org tu moody plak. Sobs. Hopes you get better. Okay Im off now. Got to hit that strategic assignment. Later.

Raya 2010

Lama tak update. Lets get on with business. Three things I'd like to cover actually; raya, birthday and engagement. But maybe I'll cover that in the next post, for the time being Im covering how's my eid mubarak so far. And yes, my stories might not be in a chronological order, as I'll be writing things from top of my head. Like I mentioned before in the previous post, we celebrated Eidulfitri at Opah's this year. However like the previous year, we still had our Eidulfitri prayers at Masjid Negeri. This year, it started a bit late; 9 o'clock.

And only after that we headed for Opah's house. Maklong and ayahchu was already there when we arrived. We'd only started our 'beraya & duit raya' session in the evening as Along Nadiah is still away working. We chatted and ripping each other off to kill off time. Ayahchu bawak balik his burung tiung. haha so banyak ralit dok main dgn burung tu, trying to get it to talk. Also on the same day we went to Makchaq's who is staying nearby. Opah's at Mahsuri Lima and Makchaq at Mahsuri Empat. We went home at night.

The next day onwards, we either have guest coming over or we went visiting others. All friends and relatives. I happened to visit my friends a lot too. Been going places. Bayan Baru, Kampung Jawa, Ayer Itam, Tanjung Bungah, Farlim, Sungai Petani, Jelutong, Sungai Pinang and Bukit Jambul, to name a few. I also get to celebrate with friends from school too. Urgh how time goes by. Besides the traditional way of celebrating raya, we had our usual lepakraya, haha bunyi mcm deeparaya (>.<). Lepakraya is where we pack kuih raya and beverage, and go lepak somewhere preferably an open space. Macam pot luck laa..

Along Nadiah also got engaged on the third day of raya. Alhamdulillah everything went well. I'll cover that in the next (or the next next post). I think thats about it for raya 2010. Rasa beyban lak nak pi open house rumah naqi satgi. He's not here looking after his mother kat sp. She just got admitted yesterday, sugar and bp is through the roof. Hopefully she's okay. So people take good care of yourself okay. Try not to over-indulge eating here and there raya raya ni. Ok before I go just a few pics :)

Maaf Zahir Batin

Another year. Another story. Another eid mubarak. Ramadhan had gone. May Allah accept our amal and continues to shower His blessings to us. Many things had happened, good and bad but I accept things with open heart. Its good to be back. Its good to have the whole family at home. This would probably be the last few years we're gonna have everybody at home celebrating eidulfitri. Haha who knows after this nabila kawin ka, or Amar goes studying abroad. So better cherish every single moment of it.

Today we visited Tok Ayah's, Tok's and Mak Jang's resting place. I feel bad because I spent most of my time at Balik Pulau, and yet I only managed to visit them a few times. Although I've never met both Tok and barely remembers Mak Jang, they will always be in my prayers. This year we're celebrating at Opah's, after so long having it at our home. Kalau celebrate kat rumah, boleh 'lari' sat naik atas online, tidur and stuff. Haha. Regardless, Im looking forward to it. I've got to admit, the past couple of years, I celebrated raya with the 'lets get it over with' mentality. But this year, I dunno why I cant wait to spend my time with them. :)

I would like to wish everybody a Happy eid Mubarak. Maaf zahir batin. And yeah before any pervy perverson made any pervy remark, sila wikipedia yek. If you have even the slightest of bad and ill feelings towards someone, then there IS something batin to be sorry about. So, unless you're some hypocritical twat or a robot, I understand ;-) Haha baru ja mintak maaf dah cari pasai. I always keep scores. And I always make sure I won or at least have the last laugh, so its kinda disappointing to 'reset' the score back to nil-nil. Because if we dont, I rwks. Why? Because I always come from behind. If you know what I mean ;-)

Kalah

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there?

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as
Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man
Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way?

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?
Was it everything you wanted to find?
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
Even when I know you're wrong?

Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance
Five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
Did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way?

But tell me, did you sail across the sun?
Did you make it to the Milky Way
To see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated?

And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?
One without a permanent scar
And then you missed me
While you were looking for yourself?

And did you finally get the chance
To dance along the light of day?
And did you fall for a shooting star?
Fall for a shooting star?
And now you're lonely looking for yourself out there

Wake up Azmil

No you're afraid to change. You'd rather imagine that you can escape instead of actually try. Cause if you fail, then you got nothing. So you'll give up the chance of something real so that you can hold on to hope.

The thing is, hope is for sissies.

The wall

Okay just a quick update before I go for my friday prayers. As of yesterday, I have been on a smoking cessation for about a month. One full month, I'v gotta be kidding myself. Sometimes I myself cant believe it. And no, I didnt cheat. Starting 2 August, I have never smoke even half a cigarette. I always thought that if I cheated on my task, it is likely that the reward that I'm getting is a scam. I mean you cheat people, people cheat you. Haha. Pfftt, I know I've said this thousands of times already but it's not easy to achieve this feat because after all I am competing against myself.

Speaking of competing against myself, Im joining this coming penang bridge international marathon. I think I'll be competing in the 10 kilos race. I am very tempted to test my perseverance and endurance participating in the full race, but maybe next year. Because you need hell lots of training and preparation if you were to run a 42 kilos marathon. To a lot of people, running a marathon is something you do to unravel the potential in them. You see, it doesnt matter how long it takes for you to finish the marathon.

The only thing that matters in running a marathon is finishing it. Because that long, painful, excruciating run is going to take it tolls on you. Kilometres by kilometres. As time goes by, and your muscle cant hold any longer you started to feel cramps and pulls here and there while at the same time your mind is giving up, sometimes even just a few kilometres short to the finish line; that's when you hit the 'wall'. Everybody have their own walls and everybody would like to get over that wall because the feeling of accomplishment is effking good.

It's not something just to test your physical strength, but also your mental strength. Try finishing one and you'll know how it feels. And yes its true, even some people who were skeptical at first comes back a different man. Another reason why I opted for 10 kilos run is because Im running with friends whom I adore the most. We are planning to really have a go at it while have fun. We even have a wager one, betting sapa yang akan quit halfway sapa yang boleh habis. haha. We'll see about that this november.

And oh, Syu lost her phone last Tuesday. I feel bad as I felt like Im partly to be blamed. :( urgh I really hope that we can find it even odds are against us since it's been 3 days since the phone been missing. Hang in there hun and be strong. Maybe ada hikmah and lessons that we should take from this. A 800 ringgit worth of lesson. :( Perhaps you already learnt something from it ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) and im sure ayah will understand eventually, eventhough at first he might be upset. Walaweh panjang plak. Anyway cuti dah start, yeay! Two weeks away from Balik Pulau and two weeks away from you. :( Two little Two long sobs

zero, zilch nada.

Deprived me of my manhood. What do I get in return?

Huaaa

Abes sudah exam. Exam paling malas and paling cincai pernah aku buat. Haih. Tadi paper Human Resource Management pun susah. Pfftt. Dahla buta-buta ja confirm hilang 10 markah. Urgh. Hopefully the rest ok and salah pun tak banyak so boleh make up to the 10 marks loss. :) Anyway, quoting naqiuddin; don't cry about what you have done, smile because it’s over…. hope i did okay or at least i did enough, so that aku boleh kejar balik nanti.

I ym'ed Madam Idayu complaining about how hard her paper was, and apart from her trademark banter towards me >.<, she said nvmd hero kalh dulu. lol Lagipun I always did badly pun for her mid term paper. Out of 6 semesters, she had taught me for 4 sems and never once I had aced her mid term paper. sobs. Okay enough about exams. Exam is over, but school's not over yet. We still have another week to go. Sobs. Malasnya. Rasa cam nak cuti jaa cepat2. Dahla assignment satu apa pun tak start lagi :(

As for this coming eid mubarak prep, I had done a little shopping for myself. This year I opt for the minimalist theme as financial is very tight. Sobs. Bought shirts and baju melayu so far. I noticed the change in taste too. All shirts bought so far are collared shirt. Tak beli pun t-shirt round neck apa bagai. Haha sbb kawan dgn makcik kot dats why la beli collared shirt, konon2 nak attune to makcik's image as a future pharmacist >.<. Anyway, here's a sneak peak to satisfy your premonition ;-)

Haha aku pun taktau colour apa ni. Biru kehijauan? Hijau kebiruan? to us guys only basic colours exist,you know, like blue, red, green. Peach, beige, violet is not a colour.And dont make me start with sky blue, cerise, papaya whip, you do not want me to go there. I'll go mak nenek over such ridiculous colour. Grr. Okay people going off now. Ada orang tu nak dapat phone baru *jeles*. Anyway here's Najwa in her shopping cart. Haha. Gedik tui adik aku sorang ni.

Pemburuan Tahkhta Keenam

Ok I have to admit. I am under a little pressure here. I've only been doing little studying and lots of time-wasting. Argh. Come on Azmil, you need to get you act together man. Banyak chapter kpt kena cover. Plus, there are abundant theories that I need to understand and memorize. What a pain in the butt. Grr. Subjects like operations management and strategic management is really killing me. And yeah, entrepreneurship is killing me too. Yes indeed, it is an easy subject whereas you had learnt all of the elements from semester 1 up until semester 5. But the downside is, yang ajaq aku entrepreneurship is Mr A, lecturer yang ajar aku OB sem lepas.

For those yang taktau cita can refer here. I dont want to get into details about what he has done this time, maybe later. But tell you, the guys a twat. Dahla tak bagi notes, padahal he promised he'll give it to us. Pastu dok sindir2, camdek2 and kutuk2 kami. Urgh moving on. Pemburuan takhta kali ni is different. For the first time in my preparation takda cigarettes. Im really scared that it might effect my performance. But it's even more scarier to realise that all this while I've been depending on cigarettes in my life. So this would be an opportunity for me to prove that I can excel without nicotine.

Only problem is, I'm bloody lazy. I havent done any productive things so far let alone studying OM. My mind wanders off I cant concentrate. I spent 3 hours covering 1 chapter tadi. Urgh. I need to focus man. Banyak sngt fikir psal tettt. I need to get rid of these distractions. Another reason why aku rasa aku malas is because I've been quitting smoking. Dont get me wrong. I know I sounded as if like I want to imply that quitting was a mistake but it's not. Bukannya nak cari salah orang/benda lain but it's the truth. When I was in that hellish withdrawal period (the first two weeks), I've mastered the art of procrastinating and delaying.

The art of procrastinating lol, is a skill that I need to master in order to handle my addictions and cravings. Whenever I felt like I want to smoke, I will do or think something to delay the act until my cravings subside. The more cravings I have the more procrastinations was needed. Alhamdulillah I have hurdled through that period, tapi skill procrastination a.k.a skill bermalas-malasan ni masih lagi dok terbawak-bawak sampai skarang. Urgh. Ya Allah kuatkan semangat aku untuk menempuhi dugaan kali ini. Anyway that's about it. Nak pi Big Apple beli Donashi, haha semalam takdan pi beli. Bye

Lagu Hari Ini 9

Sayang- Mia Palencia of Double Take

Jangan marah, sayang
Jangan hampa
Jangan sedih, sayang
Jangan berduka

Kita bebas berlari ke hujung dunia
Tanganku sedia menunggu masa

Dunia ini, sayang
Penuh cabaran
Hati orang, sayang
Pandai berdendam

Kita bebas berterbang ke hujung angkasa
Bulan bintang menunggu kedatangan kita

Ayuh sayang
Ayuh sayang
Mari kejar kebenaran.

Cinta ini, sayang
Bukan biasa
Mulut ini, sayang
Takkan berdusta

Kita bebas berenang ke hujung lautan
Ombak-ombak tak kenal makna kekejaman

Ayuh sayang
Ayuh sayang
Mari kejar kebenaran

Berlari, berlari bersama
Menyanyi, menari bersama

Cinta ini, sayang
Bukan biasa
Ayuh sayang,

Kekusutan

As mentioned above, Im a mess. In couple of months, I'll be finishing my studies. Now Im starting to worry about my education path after this. Unlike me, some of my friends have already figured out what they want to do after this. Ada yang nak further finance, ada yang nak apply accounting, even ada yang nak apply perguruan (>.<). I wish it was just as easy for me. But I really need to think carefully and weight all my options I have in my hand. I do not want to make rash decisions and live in regret.

Ipta or ipts?

They say Azmil cant survive ipta sbb azmil jenis takdak law mya orang. What the fish aku takdak law! haha but when i think about it, they are not entirely wrong. Apa barang pakai formal2 ni. Apa barang park kereta/moto kat luaq pastu brjalan pi kelas. Apa barang register subject online. Apa barang kena balik awai sbb curfew. (>.< ) Tapi tipu la kalau aku kata aku tak tringin nak blajar ipta. And banyak plak duit mak pak aku nak antaq aku pi ipts.

Penang or somewhere other than Penang?

Yes, people scold me for being so narrow minded. They say someone of my calibre should be considering 'local or abroad' instead of penang or somewhere other than penang. Tbh, I dont really fancy a chance to study abroad. For me, studying abroad is a long shot. Bukan senang2 ja boleh pi. Kena apply ituini, kena ada duit, kena ada kabel, mcm2 lagi. And I really feel like I should be staying near to my folks. Taking care and looking after them. I am greatly indebted to them, for keeping faith in me when I screwed up, times and times again.

Financial Security.

Kalau boleh, I want to further my studies without making my parents pay even a cent. Like I said, they've done enough. So Im hoping that I could secure a scholarship or at least a convertible loan in my degree studies. After all, the reason why I work my socks off in my studies is to obtain a scholarship so I dont have to trouble my folks. Haha once you are spoiled living with the luxury that MARA had given you, you could never imagine studying without that monthly allowance. And the book allowance. And the thesis allowance. And the computer allowance. And..

Courses.

They said that always take the one that you enjoy the most, but sadly I enjoy all of them. I love them as much. Every one of them. Accounts, Finance, Banking, Insurance, Economics, Marketing, Operations, etc. How can I decide la like this? pffttt.. Besides Im also pondering whether I should try my luck and apply actuarial science. Urgh. Kalau dah suka semua baik ambik biz admin. Tapi aku tak gemar nak blajaq serba serbi. Konon2 all rounder laa. I dont want to be the jack of all trades, master of none.

Well actually banyak lagi element yang aku kna consider. These four only came out from on top of my head, but theres plenty more. Ahhh..nnt la fikir lain. Skarang mari concentrate dgn pemburuan takhta keenam. Bye.